tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73046380170683691192024-02-06T20:00:43.818-08:00A 2E Fox RevivedCarolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-35280486355754070302019-01-29T03:07:00.004-08:002019-01-29T03:07:58.100-08:00Gifted Homeschoolers Forum, Transitions, and the Need for Parental Support!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Gifted Homeschoolers Forum, Transitions, and the Need for Parental Support!</b><br />
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<a href="https://giftedhomeschooler.org/"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP0MmPoJcdGIPbf-6PZneIo5zaw3H407lP_t-eP-_JLSoxsUfH3uGU25ura0247cm9sQVdoeMFwqbisg9BjIUTXlM3Urdyk9Ouw7FnU5y6MXrUuiC-B5rO_SDabfZW5yOT8VA4WRhIbV0/s320/49419734_10161361389490002_6489287875895492608_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1152684194"><br /></a> For GHF - <a href="https://giftedhomeschooler.org/">https://giftedhomeschooler.org</a><br />
For GHF's blogs from around the world - https://giftedhomeschooler.org/blogs-2/blogs/<br />
For GHF's blog hops - <a href="https://giftedhomeschooler.org/blog-hops/">https://giftedhomeschooler.org/blog-hops/</a><br />
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Transitions are not always easy. In fact, many people find transitions difficult.<br />
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The Gifted Homeschoolers Forum is in the middle of a transition. For years, it has been a source of comfort and stability for me and many families. That need for parental support never seems to go away. In fact, I think it only increases!<br />
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My 2e son is 13 years old and is transitioning from being a child to a teen. Most adults would agree that it's an awkward age and time period. My son is no longer a baby, but he's not yet a fully fledged teen either. His body and brain are changing. A lot. His needs are changing as well.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJSUSJPOWait0PI4UgUr2AYxOraPcnlyQF9z2E4p0mFgryzGrZJBaBDmMojJfKt1B_3zZZFr-DOq6heNjLvS4NM2JCFFjAX3jx70WDJOZOgKqPNSBRXKFlMNlYzd2f7AeIyzBtWXjeRk/s1600/adams_apple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="256" data-original-width="342" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpJSUSJPOWait0PI4UgUr2AYxOraPcnlyQF9z2E4p0mFgryzGrZJBaBDmMojJfKt1B_3zZZFr-DOq6heNjLvS4NM2JCFFjAX3jx70WDJOZOgKqPNSBRXKFlMNlYzd2f7AeIyzBtWXjeRk/s320/adams_apple.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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(My son's Adam's apple hasn't appeared yet, but it will soon!)</div>
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Suddenly my son wants to sleep a lot. It's normal. At times, though, it doesn't feel like it's 'normal'. But then oftentimes, nothing feels 'normal' with a gifted/2e and like the land of topsy-turvy. During these moments, I have a sudden urge to reach out to parents of older teens on GHF for reassurance.<br />
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As gifted/2e parents, we want reassurance. We have doubts. We have the gifted/2e kid who may veer from the 'standard' child development trajectory, and possibly veer off onto left field or another galaxy, it might seem. We seek comfort and guidance from parents of older teens who have been there and know what it's like having a gifted/2e child, tween, or teen.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ckwS2BvFY8OUEi9Hz-UrAdLjLLiajfmtxQEgfcS3O2MoJ659yECse7DLfKzKpETTj44rbBdIAUKbaHhtKWG3FYmkVMOHZVSlQc1msPS70ohrABOUCLgdJpygkuPVSdkdUPTMaNzqnrk/s1600/meadow_rest_recovery_person.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="256" data-original-width="384" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ckwS2BvFY8OUEi9Hz-UrAdLjLLiajfmtxQEgfcS3O2MoJ659yECse7DLfKzKpETTj44rbBdIAUKbaHhtKWG3FYmkVMOHZVSlQc1msPS70ohrABOUCLgdJpygkuPVSdkdUPTMaNzqnrk/s320/meadow_rest_recovery_person.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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(This isn't my son sleeping, but it's very likely a teen who is!)</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">My son and I will soon be making a transition together. We will be moving from the UK back to the US soon; my UK husband will be moving too once he can get his US resident green card reinstated and the house sold or in the process of being sold. </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">For my son and I, this means we will no longer be American expats. We will no longer see the fingers waving pointing at us as being (gasp) American. We will no longer hear the tut-tutting when we open our mouths and speak American accents. </span><span style="text-align: left;">We will adjust from living in the UK to living in the US. It will take time for sure. </span></div>
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Moving is stressful. It's another time when the need for parental support and GHF is great. It can be less stressful though when you reach out to families in the GHF community and find others who have taken a similar path, been in similar shoes, or a gifted/2e child like yours.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvazfSRHaR9f2CFm8FnIe3u5BJDZUu__AZ9b7adpfwquLotvqV8P5-zNEVRkQfRjoECSUalwg3BoATxEB0Ev_7l1ZU-iv3Qt3nfdNgY_s9XlWPDQ6_zim4qphDZL_ZdFNmApmFdFqepk/s1600/duct_tape_moving_van.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="256" data-original-width="342" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvazfSRHaR9f2CFm8FnIe3u5BJDZUu__AZ9b7adpfwquLotvqV8P5-zNEVRkQfRjoECSUalwg3BoATxEB0Ev_7l1ZU-iv3Qt3nfdNgY_s9XlWPDQ6_zim4qphDZL_ZdFNmApmFdFqepk/s320/duct_tape_moving_van.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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(Of course, we're not moving by car from the UK to the US!!)<br />
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<span style="text-align: left;">GHF is not restricted to American or American expats though. It is open and welcome to all. In fact, today, members live across six continents and part of a worldwide GHF community. I cannot express how critical that is.</span></div>
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This is a vital part here. As American expats, we have been able to be part of a worldwide GHF community and stay in contact with fellow Americans at home while living in the UK. We have also met and been in contact online with GHF members across the world! </div>
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Whatever it is, the point is to feel supported and less alone here, especially with a 2e child. There is no doubt about it. GHF can help tremendously. <br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's Why We Love GHF - January 2019. For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see: <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> </span><a href="https://giftedhomeschooler.org/blogs-2/blogs/">https://giftedhomeschooler.org/blogs-2/blogs/</a>. For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see: <a href="https://giftedhomeschooler.org/blog-hops/">https://giftedhomeschooler.org/blog-hops/</a>.<br />
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<b>NOTE:</b><br />
I am an unpaid blogger (ie. just a homeschooling/ home educating parent) who uses Blogger but doesn't add, embed, or employ any additional cookies, third party features or anything else!</div>
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-2838062199680404032017-11-13T07:53:00.000-08:002017-11-13T07:53:19.913-08:00The Frustrating Discussion Dialogue: No Wonder My 2E Child Feels Misunderstood!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">No Wonder My 2E Child Feels Misunderstood</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Every time I have to give details or a more involved explanation on my 2e son's special needs and giftedness, I cringe. I sigh. I tailspin. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">My 2e son is twelve and I've been having this same frustrating discussion dialogue for a long time. Too long really. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">It should be easy and simple for me now, but it is not. We've just moved (again). I have to register my son with a new GP. I am dreading it. I have to go through the laundry list again and get the glazed doughnut eyes and the blank stares again. Every time it's the same song and dance.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The frustrating discussion dialogue usually goes like this: </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"Yes, my son was diagnosed with x, y, and z." "</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Yes, he was diagnosed at birth with __ and then at 3 years old a developmental pediatrician diagnosed him with __ ."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"Yes, my son had IQ testing, at age 6."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">"Oh, yes, they diagnosed him with ADHD and PDD."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">"Well, yes, he has some of the ADHD and PDD traits and behaviours but we sought a second opinion and then a third on those diagnoses and on the giftedness. Yes, __ ruled out ADHD and __ ruled out PDD."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">"No, my son doesn't actually have ADHD and isn't on the spectrum. Yes, he does have some of the traits and behaviors. Yes, we looked into medication for the ADHD, but my son doesn't have ADHD and so we sought alternative treatments and solutions for the ADHD behaviour and traits. Yes, he isn't on any medication now."</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">"Yes, my son attended school., but we withdrew him from school at 6.5 years old and have been homeschooling/home educating him since then."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">"Yes we homeschool/ home educate. Yes, it's a lot of work."</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">"Yes my son meets up with other (homeschool) kids regularly: On Monday, we do __. On Tuesday, we might go __....."</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">For years and years and years, I have had the same frustrating discussion dialogue with various pediatricians, GPs, and other professionals.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">For the record, from birth to twelve, there has never been a discussion with a pediatrician or GP about my son's giftedness or how the ADHD and PDD traits may be related to my son's giftedness. There has never been a discussion about the overexcitabilities or the asynchronous development associated with son's giftedness.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Except for the occupational therapists and eye doctors (three behavioral optometrists and three ophthalmologists between NYC and MA - which is another frustrating dialogue!), there has never been a discussion about the severe sensory processing disorder, the central auditory processing disorder, or the visual processing disorder which my son has.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Except for the first few years, there has never been a discussion about my son's hypotonia (low muscle tone), dyspraxia (motor planning), or other special needs that he has.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">There has never been a discussion with a pediatrician or GP about how just being around other kids of the same chronological age may not be enough for my son.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">There has never been a discussion about how my son may need to find a mentor or may need to be in certain settings to get his social/emotional needs met. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">There has never been a discussion on the raging mind, the insatiable curiosity, the relentless creativity, and drive to not conform or be compliant with authority.</span></span><br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop: <a href="https://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/invisible-gifted-child-mislabeled-misdiagnosed-unidentified-misunderstood">The Invisible Gifted Child: Mislabeled, Misdiagnosed, Unidentified, and Misunderstood</a>. For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see: <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> </span><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a>. For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see: <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/</a>.<br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-82152090849413051322017-04-07T12:41:00.001-07:002017-04-10T12:34:47.868-07:00Please, Not a Meltdown in the Middle of Costco!: Living With a 2e Child<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Please, Not a Meltdown in the Middle of Costco: Living With a 2e Child</b></span></span><br />
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When your 11-year-old 2e son has a (sensory) meltdown in the middle of Costco, it is awful. Instantly, it feels like everyone is staring at you and making judgments: about you, your child, your child's behavior and perceived lack of discipline, and your parenting skills. Worse, your child feels like a failure for having the meltdown and you feel like a failure for not averting the meltdown. It's not exactly a bowl of cherries.<br />
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Then, the questions and self-doubts start flooding in: How can I have a child who is so intense, so extreme and yet so bright, and so sensitive, loving and caring? What am I doing wrong here? <br />
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My 2e son did not deliberately have a sensory meltdown in the middle of Costco without a reason. He is under a lot of stress lately. Unintentionally, his world has been flipped over many times within the last year and half since moving to the UK, including moving last summer within the UK.<br />
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To be sure, my 2e son already feels like a freak: 1) for being born with special needs, including a sensory process disorder; 2) for having 'gifts' when they feel unearned and undeserved; and 3) for being homeschooled (or home educated as they say here). He is 'different'. <br />
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To exacerbate the situation (which is partly the reason for the meltdown), we are literally in the middle of buying a house and about to move yet again. IF my son had had the sensory meltdown in the real estate agent's office, I might well have joined him.<br />
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Buying a house and moving are stressful enough as they are. However, if you have a 2e child who has sensory processing disorder, is on the autism spectrum or has autistic traits, then the dislocations with moving and sense or orientation can be even more confounding. <br />
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Sensory processing disorder and giftedness often go hand and hand. There's an emotional component with giftedness that often gets forgotten. <br />
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Some may think that giftedness would or should preclude sensory meltdowns but this is not the case. Everyone processes sensory input differently from sensory seeking to sensory avoiding and everything in between. <br />
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Moving to a new house, town, or country is an emotional experience. Even adults have difficulties with moving and adjusting to their new surroundings. For a 2e child it can be much more intensified. While my brain might have transitioned to picking up the frozen blueberries and finishing the food shopping at Costco, my's son was stuck, so to speak, on the house viewings, another move, the dislocations that would ensue, and the lack of having much control over the situation.<br />
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My 2e son is an intense person who feels and experiences life fully. I do truly love him, more than anything in this world. I do not want him to feel like a freak or a subject of scorn or ridicule. <br />
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I want my son to have faith in himself. I want to reassure him -- that although it may not be socially accepted to have a meltdown in the middle of Costco and that there are more appropriate ways to express his feelings and thoughts -- that he's still a child and is learning. That it's ok to be 'different'.<br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop: <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/gifted-and-twice-exceptional-revisiting-2e-issues/">Gifted and Twice Exceptional: Revisiting 2E Issues</a>. For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see: <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> </span><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a>. For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see: <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/</a>.<br />
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<b>NOTE:</b><br />
I am an unpaid blogger (ie. just a homeschooling parent) who uses Blogger but doesn't add, embed, or employ any additional cookies, third party features or anything else! <br />
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<b>NOTE p.s.:</b> I do not work for Costco, nor have I received any money from them other than as a Costco member who shops there!</div>
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-46830926811544810512017-02-03T03:14:00.000-08:002017-02-05T13:05:21.534-08:00Encouraging words from top scientists on homeschooling when the chips are down<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Encouraging words from top scientists on homeschooling when the chips are down</b><br />
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The really big science questions need problem solvers. They need kids who are curious and who question, and particularly question authority including your authority as a parent. Granted, these kids are not the easiest kids to parent (i.e. they often question your authority as a parent!) and at times homeschooling them can feel like a drag. But these kids are often gifted/2e and being home educated because: 1) they are gifted and may have special needs, 2) are not followers or necessarily compliant with a teacher or a school.</div>
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I'll be frank and honest here. For those of us who are the liberal, latte sipping type and/or who believe in science, evolution, and the big bang, the stakes never seemed higher. The recent political upheavals with Brexit in the UK and then with the US presidential elections can make things seem rather grim. The state of education and the direction things are going in terms of education is disconcerting. One has only to read the headlines on <a href="http://www.commondreams.org/">Common Dreams</a> or other news outlets to get a sense of the alarm and despair within the scientific community and for the state of education. And it doesn't take many negatively slanted stories on homeschooling (ie. the Feb 2nd <a href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/mum-home-schools-children-letting-9741165?service=responsive">Mirror article</a> on the mother who lets her children play video games all day) to make an A type personality parent question or doubt their abilities to home educate and provide an education for their gifted/2e child/ren.<br />
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<li>Children are full of questions</li>
<li>Sadly, by fifth grade, many children curtail their questioning</li>
<li>Schools tend to foster submission to authority and not support endless questioning<img border="0" height="320" src="https://norahcolvin.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/questions.png" width="320" /></li>
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As the above images sum up so beautifully, children are full of questions! Generally speaking, schools tend not to foster children who question ad nauseum. And yet, if we want a generation of scientists and people to solve the really big science questions and those facing the world today, we need children to be curious and ask lots of questions!</div>
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From time to time, I foster this questioning and ignite my son's passions by taking my 2e 11-year-old to science lectures, events, and activities that are free to attend and open to the public. I am not the only homeschooling parent to do so. The Washington Post recently reported on <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/hes-only-7-years-old-but-this-maryland-boy-could-be-the-next-einstein/2017/02/02/d7ee4e80-e321-11e6-a453-19ec4b3d09ba_story.html?hpid=hp_local-news_boygenius-540pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.5cf44bbe5845">Romanieo Golphin Sr. who took his 7-year-old to CERN</a> and university lectures, but there are countless home educators who do so as well.<br />
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Last Saturday, I took my son to Oxford University's annual Stargazing event, which was free and open to the public. I spoke to some scientists there. One conversation was particularly striking and worth retelling.<br />
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Here is what a scientist confided to me:<br />
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1) "Homeschooling is becoming more and more the best means to obtain a proper education in science; in some instances it is the <i>only</i> means; and<br />
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2) No one has an excuse in not obtaining quality education in science today with the amount of MOOCs" (<a href="http://edx.org/">edX</a>, <a href="https://www.coursera.org/">Coursera</a>, <a href="https://www.futurelearn.com/">Future Learn</a>, <a href="http://www.worldscienceu.com/">World Science U</a>, <a href="https://isaacphysics.org/">Isaac Physics</a> and <a href="https://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm">MIT OpenCourseWare</a> to name a few) -- which are freely available online. <br />
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These are encouraging words from a top scientist on homeschooling when the chips are down! Take heart. This was not the sole occasion that I heard these points made about obtaining a quality education in science with homeschooling today. Far from it. Similar words have been uttered elsewhere in the UK and in the US.<br />
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Every time you feel a bit deflated, reach out to a wider community (whatever that may be). Follow your gifted/2e child's passions. Ask questions. Listen. Take heart. Reassure any nagging doubts on home educating. Press your control-alt-delete to rekindle the flames and restore your faith in educating your gifted/2e child/ren.<br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop: <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/homeschooling-gifted-child-becomes-a-drag-best-tips">When homeschooling your gifted child becomes a drag: my best tips</a>. For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see: <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> </span><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a>. For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see: <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/</a>.<br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-31194189087026711912016-09-17T07:21:00.000-07:002016-09-19T08:37:53.677-07:00Finding peers with a move or starting to homeschool a gifted/2e child<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Finding peers with a move or starting to homeschool a gifted/2e child</b></div>
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It is vital for all children to find peers and make friends but it's often a thorny prospect for a gifted or 2e (gifted with special needs) child. This prospect, however, can be further intensified with a move or with starting to homeschool. I know too well. Within the last year, we moved outside the US and then moved again within the UK, nearly two months ago.<br />
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How do you go about finding peers and making friends with a gifted/2e child when you move to a new area or start to homeschool? First, go online and try to find out what homeschool groups are in your area. Many are on Facebook today; though there are still some yahoo groups and homeschool groups with their own websites. Word of mouth is another way to find out about homeschool groups but that can be rather difficult when you either move to a new area or initially start out homeschooling. Ideally, try to meet a fellow homeschooling parent in your area who may be able to point you in the right direction as soon as possible. Try to get the low down on what's around and going on with homeschoolers.<br />
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Find out what types of homeschool groups, activities, and/or events are in your area. Think in terms of your specific gifted/2e child/ren and their cognitive, physical, social, and emotional needs as well as their chronological age. Think in terms of academics and non-academics. It's possible to find a friend at an informal swimming group rather than in a competitive math club. Alternatively, it's possible to find a friend or peer at a competitive math club and not at swimming. It depends on the gifted/2e child, the group or activity, and the other children in attendance. And, yes, some homeschool groups, activities, and/or events are based on chronological age and not based on ability. This is something to bear in mind. Sometimes age restrictions are avoidable or able to be bridged by talking to the organizer/s of the homeschool group, activity, and/or event. Other times, age restrictions are inescapable regardless of a child's ability and/or performance elsewhere; some people and places are age sticklers and are not going to change their rules or policies. So you'll have to decide whether it's worth it to wait on these age restrictive groups, activities, and/or events or seek alternative ones for your child's immediate needs based on their chronological age or ones with more flexibility.<br />
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Second, discern which homeschool groups, activities, and/or events are structured or lesson-based from the unstructured. If you've got a round peg 2e child, then it's probably not worth beating your head to try to get them to fit into the square hole. Some gifted/2e children thrive with structure and lessons for homeschooled groups and activities. For others, it gives them the hives and they will rebel against them. For these gifted/2e kids, you'll be banging your head with the more structured stuff and will need to find drop-in, informal homeschool groups and activities without too much structure. Bear in mind, as children get older, their needs will change and making friends or finding peers will take greater priority in their lives. A gifted/2e six-year-old's needs are different from a twelve-year-old's, of course.<br />
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Third or perhaps earlier (it's not etched in stone here!), take geography into account. Geographical location within a certain area or based on interest/activity can make a difference with transportation, traffic, and getting your gifted/2e child to and from a place. Most major metropolitan areas support homeschooling groups today. Depending on where you live, your transportation, budget, and traffic, you may have a wide range of options for homeschool groups within a 10-mile or 60-mile radius. On the other hand, geography and/or transportation may impose limitations. <br />
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Fourth, budget. Yes, if I had a magic wand and oodles of money, then I could forget about this reality and this word! Don't despair. Homeschooling can be done on a shoestring budget. It is possible. Check out what's free, low-cost, pricey, or cost prohibitive. Also, some pricey or cost prohibitive activities or events may have concessions or fees reduced for those on restricted incomes. Public libraries, adult education centers, and other public or non-profit institutions often have activities that are free or for low-cost which may work for an informal homeschool group meetup or a regular structured group.<br />
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Fifth, don't see anything that appeals to you or your gifted/2e, consider creating a group or organizing one. Some people are good at organizing. If you are one, don't be shy about putting your ideas forward and trying to start something. You might be pleasantly surprised at the positive responses and reactions from more introverted people who recognize the need but may be reluctant to organize such a homeschool group.<br />
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Sixth, let's be honest here. Moving or starting to homeschool can be tough and stressful. Some kids have an easier time with change and socially with making friends, period. Some kids are more flexible and/or resilient than others. Some 2e kids have special needs issues that hinder language and/or social skills. Some gifted kids, or a 2e child, may be highly, exceptionally, or profoundly gifted and really struggle to find true intellectual peers. In that case, you may want to keep the focus on making friends.<br />
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Don't throw the towel here! Your child doesn't not necessarily need a gaggle of friends when one or two close friends may suffice. Remember oftentimes it's quality over quantity here. Bear in mind, too, finding peers and making friends are unlikely to happen overnight. It's more likely to take a lot of time, patience, and effort. Your gifted/2e child may also have an easier time making friends than finding a true intellectual peer, which may take considerable sleuthing (or maybe not truly happen until they're an adult). <br />
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Depending on your child, their level of giftedness, and where you live, your gifted/2e child may have an easier time if you're able to widen your options. Some have an easier time by drawing on a huge geographical area or a critical mass of homeschoolers. Some families are fortunate to live in areas with lots of gifted/2e kids. Other families may be fortunate to move to those areas where there are lots of gifted/2e kids. On the other hand, finding peers and making friends in towns or cities without any gifted services in public or private schools may be easier -- since many might turn to homeschool as an alternative educational option. Then again, as I've mentioned, there are some gifted/2e kids where it might take until adulthood before they find a true intellectual peer.<br />
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Seventh, I've based this blog post on finding peers and making friends with a move or with starting to homeschool in a new area in the physical world, as in face-to-face encounters. Today, Skype, Facetime, social media, and other methods enable gifted/2e kids to find peers and make friends virtually without physically meeting them face-to-face. Gifted Homeschooling Forum (GHF) is a virtual place where a gifted/2e child may find a peer or make a friend. I've been extremely fortunate that my son has found a peer via GHF; others may have as well. So it is possible for gifted/2e kids to find peers and make friends in the virtual world in certain settings without the usual geographical constraints of the physical world and not something to discount.<br />
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Eighth, keep plugging away until your gifted/2e child finds some peers and makes friends, in the physical and/or virtual worlds. They may have friends at different groups and/or activities but lack true intellectual peers until adulthood as I've mentioned. If this is the case, don't give up. Keep looking and trying different groups, activities, and/or events until you do....<br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop - <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/gifted-children-importance-finding-intellectual-peers-community/">Gifted Children: The Importance of Finding Intellectual Peers and Community</a>. For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see: <span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , "trebuchet" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> </span><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a>. For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see: <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/</a>.<br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-89889885407509073552016-04-16T03:49:00.000-07:002016-04-18T08:13:59.130-07:00Gifted 2E Kids: The Most Underrepresented<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Gifted 2E Kids: The Most Underrepresented</b><br />
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Of the three million students identified as gifted in the United States, a recent <a href="http://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/04/11/467653193/gifted-but-still-learning-english-overlooked-underserved">NPR article</a> claims, that non-native English speakers or ELL (English language learners) students are by far the most underrepresented. While it is true that non-native English speakers or ELL students are often underrepresented in gifted programs, the article does not address the issues and difficulties posed for gifted 2e kids. In fact, there is no mention of them. For many Gifted 2e parents, the article reinforces the dilemmas with their local district for their 2e kids and why so many seek out homeschooling as an alternative educational option.</div>
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Let's start with what the federal law says. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA 2004) requires all U.S. public schools to provide for the special needs for all children, ages three through 21 with disabilities. Additionally, the American Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) provides safeguards to protect persons with disabilities from discrimination of any kind. Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 provides services to children who may not qualify as disabled under IDEA 2004 but who need additional supports of services. These federal laws apply to all children regardless of nationality, language spoken, or length of residency; and such children are eligible for these services through the public school system.<br />
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In theory this may sound good, but what happens in reality for many gifted 2e parents is much more thorny. First, a child needs to be identified as having special needs. This in itself is far from being simple. My son, who is now 10 years old, was born in New York City with special needs, mainly physical ones. He qualified for therapy through Early Intervention (a federally mandated program) as a baby. Once he turned three, however, the medical model of qualifying for services with Early Intervention no longer applied. An educational model applied instead: my son's potential academic achievement were considered. Except at age three, it's very hard to assess and predict the future educational trajectory of a child, especially one with special needs and developmental delays. Even the best psychologists in the country will not administer an IQ (intelligence quotient) test at age three; it's too young for any accuracy.<br />
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Cognitive and/or academic aptitude tests, regardless of age, may be given to determine whether a child qualifies for special education or services through a public school system. Oftentimes, though, such tests are based on a particular age and with low ceilings. Furthermore, public school officials who administer such tests may not be skilled in assessing a 2e child. They may have little experience with a child who may be ahead in one aspect but have a deficit in another or one who is not receptive to testing. In the end, parents may seek out private testing. But this is often costly. It's cost prohibitive to those without the financial means or not an option for those without access to private testing in their area. This only serves to further undermine the hurdles for a 2e parent and child.<br />
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What complicates matters further is that special needs can vary widely and be slippery to define and to identify. A gifted 2e child usually refers to a child who has above average intelligence and one or more disabilities. But there are exceptions with this definition: some <a href="https://www.wisconsinmedicalsociety.org/professional/savant-syndrome/">savants</a> such as Kim Peek, for one, who have islands of genius or exceptional abilities despite some severe disabilities. Disabilities (or weaknesses) for 2e children can run the gamut from autism and deafness to dyslexia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Under IDEA 2004, a special needs student is defined as having: "a disorder in one or more of the basic psychological processes involved in understanding or in using language, spoken or written, which may manifest itself in an imperfect ability to listen, speak, read, write, spell, or to do mathematical calculations." Again, it sounds great in theory, but in practice the diagnosing of a disability or a recognition of special needs can be complicated and messy. Many children with dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphic, and/or dyspraxia are never diagnosed or identified. Or where the line is drawn on who is defined as dyslexic and qualifies for services is often fraught with murkiness.<br />
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Moreover inconsistencies and unevenness in performance and abilities are hallmarks of 2e children. They may have delays. They may be early bloomers with some developments and/or late bloomers with other developments. Or they may be a mixture of both. They may be highly verbal or have deficits with language skills. They may perform or test well one day, but not the next. They may swing from avoiding situations or experiences to seeking them out. They may seem out-of-sync with others and have trouble coping with their mixed abilities.<br />
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Those who go to school may find their special needs or giftedness fly under the radar or go unnoticed. A teacher may be aware a child has special needs but a parent might be unaware. Or the situation may be reversed with a parent suspecting special needs and a teacher not seeing them or being unaware. A gifted 2e child may fluctuate between highs and lows in a particular day and/or subject. Some days a 2e child may seem exceptional while other days the special needs may seem particularly glaring. At times, nothing may seem to fit or work out. Nothing about them may seem linear or sequential like it may appear in comparison with more neurotypical children. <br />
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Worse, behavioral issues can often coexist with exceptional abilities. A gifted 2e child may find things easy in one area, but struggle or find things impossible in another area. They may get frustrated, anxious, and depressed from a lack of challenge. In a school setting, a gifted 2e child may spend a large part of their day just trying to hold themselves together and exert an enormous amount of effort doing so. They may suddenly explode with little to no warning. Unwarranted attention for such disruptive behavior and relentless meetings (or phone calls) with school personnel may ensue. Unwittingly, the student's negative behavior may cause a teacher to put blinders on and, counter productively, such negative behavior may outstrip any exceptional abilities the child may have.<br />
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To muddy the waters further, gifted education is NOT federally mandated and, as a result, not every state mandates gifted education. Of the states with gifted programs, approximately six to ten percent of the total student population is considered academically gifted. But this figure does not include the number of students who are not tested as gifted or failed to be identified as gifted. It also does not include such states as Massachusetts where a gifted state mandate does not exist or the number of 2e homeschoolers either since the figures are based on data obtained from public school systems. Of the states with gifted programs, some estimate the 2e population to be around 350,000 or .5%, but this seems woefully low.<br />
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In reality, many 2e children are never identified and muddle through school, never reach their potential, or fall through the cracks -- though despite these obstacles, some persevere through dint of hard work. Take Henry Winkler (an American actor, director, comedian, producer and author). Winkler was born in Manhattan and attended public schools in New York City, but never identified as dyslexic or as a 2e child by either his parents or his teachers. Though he was bright, he thought he was 'stupid.' <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site/2014/may/26/henry-winkler-the-fonz-interview-hank-zipzer-dyslexia">He didn't read a book until he was 31 years old</a>. Today, however, he's now written 26 books with his <i>Hank Zipzer</i> series and become a spokesman for dyslexia.<br />
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Only a handful of schools in the United States offer a curriculum specifically tailored to 2e children. In New York City, which is the biggest city in the US and has the largest public school system in the country, there are very limited options for parents. Many, such as Winkler, are never identified as having special needs or exceptional abilities. Other times, children are identified as having special needs or be gifted but not both. Some gifted schools in New York City may be able to accommodate children on the autism spectrum but not all. In other cities and states, some public schools offer part-time programs for twice exceptional students, but usually there is more demand than there are slots available.<br />
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Increasingly, for these reasons and others, many gifted 2e parents opt to homeschooling rather than grappling with a public school system. With homeschooling, they can play to a gifted 2e child's strengths. They can address the social and emotional needs of a gifted 2e child. They can find support and/or provide scaffolding and guidance. And they can provide one-to-one type tutoring opportunities and technology more effectively and efficiently than any other educational setting. <br />
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So what makes a 2e child exceptional? I think it's those kids like Kim Peek, Henry Winkler, and everyone in between. And they're by far the most underrepresented.<br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/gifted-2e-kids-what-makes-them-twice-exceptional/">Gifted 2e Kids: What Makes Them Exceptional</a>. For more on GHF's blog hop see: <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/.</a><br />
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<b>The Last Journey of a Genius and How Do You Say Gifted?</b></div>
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In 1989 PBS' NOVA aired <i>The Last Journey of a Genius</i>, a television documentary on the final days of the great physicist Richard Feynman. Today, anyone can google and watch it. </div>
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In the documentary, Richard Feynman talks about becoming a member of the Arista, an honor society, at Far Rockaway High School in New York City. At the time (early 1930s), everyone wanted to be a member of the Arista, according to Feynman. However, once Feynman became selected he soon discovered that the group was more concerned about deciding who was to be allowed in the Arista. He hated intellectual pretense and wanted no part of it.<br />
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Feynman wanted to be ordinary: a school psychologist had tested his IQ at 123/5 in the 1930s or within the range of normal. Feynman once told a friend that he would not be able to join Mensa, an organization who members have IQs in the 150 or higher, since he lacked a high enough qualifying score.<br />
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Apart from his IQ score, Richard Feynman was anything but ordinary. While Feynman's name is often touted about within the physics world, Einstein's iconic status extends far beyond the physics world and the one most commonly named in terms of giftedness. And yet, most (who are knowledgeable about Feynman and Einstein or other geniuses) would put Feynman in the category of giftedness and even the rarified category of' true' genius.<br />
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The similarities between Richard Feynman and Albert Einstein are staggering and worth noting:<br />
both became famous, award-winning physicists. Both were awarded Nobel Prizes. Both looked for the simplest solution to a problem. <br />
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Both Feynman and Einstein beat to a different drum. Both were late talkers and not always hard working, high achieving students. Both had an insatiable curiosity and were highly creative. Both were divergent rather than convergent thinkers. Both cherished the process of exploring and investigating questions rather than the end result. Both were physically and socially awkward. Both had married and then divorced; though Feynman's first wife died of tuberculosis and he stayed married to his third wife for more than twenty-five years. <br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: lft-etica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21.4285717010498px;">Ironically, today the term 'little Einstein' has been co-opted. Too often, it is usually refers to a bright, eager child with a high IQ who perhaps learns how to read at or before age 2 and then performs other amazing physical and cognitive feats at an early. Quite the opposite of Einstein's own upbringing in many ways, yet the pundits and talking heads persist in co-opting his name. The title of the headline <i><a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/einstein-girl-3-mensa-youngest-member-article-1.1619436">Little Einstein! Girl, 3, Mensa's Youngest Member</a></i> says it all. </span><br />
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Today such 'little Einsteins' are never considered 'little Feynmans.' Often, there's no discussion how giftedness may be more than a high IQ or a qualifying score with Mensa or pertain to a set of characteristics and neurological condition. There's also usually nothing about how Einstein or other gifted people do not share the same precocious or physical, mental, social and emotional developments and, in fact, many gifted people have special needs and developmental delays. And there's often no discussion or consideration how much a disservice this association does for the betterment of society or the child either.<br />
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Intelligence scores speak for one piece of the puzzle, but they do not speak for all. Otherwise, Feynman and many others would have a higher IQ score than they did or do.<br />
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Perhaps we should re-assess how we say giftedness. Perhaps we should accept that there are Feynmans in the world and that there are more definitions and ways to be gifted than being identified through IQ testing.<br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/how-do-you-say-gifted/">How Do You Say Giftedness</a>. For more of GHF's blog hops, see <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a>.<br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-80676863341795356162014-12-14T08:00:00.000-08:002014-12-15T08:16:43.978-08:00Hawaiian Punch, Junk Food, and a (Holiday) Food Plan<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The holidays: a time when Michael Pollan's simple advice "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants " seems to go out the window. Beets, cabbage, and other root vegetables are staple foods for countless peasants around the world. Yet on a global scale, a treat or something sweet is usually presented during the holidays. Special cookies, cakes, candy, and other dishes are often made.<br />
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Until fairly recently, these special treats were not available year round. Until fairly recently, sugar was not ubiquitous. And until fairly recently, processed foods, artificial food dyes and colorings, artificial and refined sweeteners were not so widespread either. Today, it's the wild west with foods.<br />
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For many parents of 2e children with allergies, food sensitivities, or on restrictive diets, the holidays are somewhat of a nightmare. For many, however, the food issues are year-round. During the holidays, they just become magnified about 100 times, it seems. The sights and smells can be hard to resist. Food quickly becomes associated with fun but isn't when your child can't eat certain food or when you've become a member of the food police or healthy food advocate.</div>
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Every holiday event seems to have tons of junk food, sweets, and other unhealthy items (cakes, cupcakes, cookies, etc.). What can a 2e parent do? </div>
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1. <b>Acknowledgement</b>. 'Food' features strongly in holiday celebrations. Though we may disagree on what you or I may constitute as 'food', it's pretty much a given that many people feel compelled to bring a 'food' item to a holiday event or gathering.<br />
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2. <b>Document</b>. One British family did an experiment. They created a food diary and logged their kids' daily sugar intake for a week. The parents were horrified. It turns out the <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2861523/How-children-eating-70-teaspoons-sugar-day-Try-make-family-follow-healthy-diet-experiment-shock-you.html">kids were eating 70 teaspoons of sugar a day</a>! Worse, much of the sugar intake was consumed at public (state) school. And such sugar was not presented as one-off treats either.</div>
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3. <b>Don't forget about drinks</b>. Visit Whole Foods or many other supermarkets during the holidays. Eggnog and other holiday drinks are often freely available. Many schools, libraries, and other organizations serve Hawaiian Punch or other 'kid-friendly' drinks during the holidays too. Yet these drinks are usually contain artificial food dyes or colorings as well as sugar. <a href="http://www.chc.ucsf.edu/coast/fatchance.html">Robert Lustig</a>, <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/06/09/319230765/fruit-juice-vs-soda-both-beverages-pack-in-sugar-and-health-risk">NPR</a>, and other <a href="http://www.sugarydrinkfacts.org/sugary_drink_facts_in_brief.aspx">organizations</a> have written about the hidden sugars and <a href="http://www.sugarydrinkfacts.org/sugary_drink_facts_in_brief.aspx">substances in juices</a>.<br />
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4. <b>Plan ahead</b>. <br />
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<b>Option A</b>. Don't attend or try to avoid holiday celebrations. Elimination works, but isn't always doable or realistic. <br />
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<b>Option B</b>. Eat before any holiday celebration. That way the temptation to eat is gone or reduced. This is sometimes works. For many kids, they see others eating colorful creations and they are desperate to join them regardless.<br />
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<b>Option C</b>. Bring an alternative holiday celebration. Your child wants to attend a holiday celebration that will have brownies, for instance, but your child can't or isn't supposed to eat brownies. Your child, however, can (discretely) bring homemade brownies. You found a recipe for chocolate avocado cookies which look like the real McCoy and your child can and, more importantly, does eat them. <br />
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<b>Option D</b>. Let things go and let your child eat whatever at a holiday celebration. This is like the hope and pray that no harm will come. Again, this may work or might not work - at all. IF your child has a severe allergy, then the harsh reality is that can't always control what others bring and your ability to protect your child from any harm comes first, period.<br />
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<b>Option E</b>. Something I haven't covered? Maybe an exit strategy when things go south at a holiday event?<br />
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5. <b>Allow your child to have a role and devise a solution</b>. Let's say you've got a child on the GAPS (gut and psychology syndrome) diet. You can could be a food enforcer. Or you could ask the child to help play a larger role in their food decisions and choices. Let your son look at <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a> for recipes. Let them pick out recipe. Let them find something to eat that they will like and eat. Let them be part of the solution, if possible.<br />
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6. <b>Talk about the social and emotion feelings</b>. Everyone likes to feel included, but 'food' can be a thorny issue today and for many of us. Some kids have a physical reaction to food and that's no fun. Some kids have a behavioral/neurological reaction to food and that's no fun either. Many people don't genuinely understand why a child can't just have a little bit of candy or a little bit of Hawaiian Punch to feel part of a group. Not many parents want to be a pariah over food either. <br />
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Not surprisingly, parents and kids often feel the peer pressure with food. It doesn't make you feel good when others can supposedly guzzle Sunny Delight, for instance, or pop gingerbread cookies into their mouths without any ramifications, it seems. Yes, it's not fair. Yes, it seems out of your control. Yes, it seems like you have faulty or defective genes when others do not. And yes, it's not an easy path.<br />
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I 'get' it. My husband has Crohn's and yes, <a href="http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2014/01/neanderthals-dna-legacy-linked-to-modern-ailments/">recent research</a> has pointed the figure at the Neanderthal gene for causing it. Moreover three years ago, our 2e son was put on a restrictive diet by a neurofeedback provider - a sort of GAPS/Wahls/Paleo/Feinstein (no grains, dairy, corn, soy, processed food, refined sugars and limits on fruit, yada yada). Initially, it was a nightmare and daily juggling act. Yes, food can be a daily grind. It's not like trying to skip rope which you can avoid on a daily level.<br />
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With peer pressure and food, brainstorm the alternatives and options available. Sometimes you can easily substitute. Other times creativity is necessary.</div>
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7. <b>Positive reinforcement for healthy food choices and decisions</b>. Praise the child for taking the time and effort to select a recipe. Praise the child for taking an active role and making a decision. </div>
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8. <b>Become a healthy food role model</b>. Practice what you preach. Read the labels and find out what the ingredients are. When a neurofeedback provider put my son on the restrictive diet, I went through my refrigerator and cupboards and either donated food to charity or chucked it out (note: we didn't have a compost bin then!). I set aside most of my cookbooks. I googled and googled and googled for recipes. Now I find recipes on <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a> instead. I found healthy substitutions. In many cases, however, I had to flip our meals and ways of thinking and eating. But my husband and I both made the conscious decision to become food role models for our 2e son. <br />
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9. <b>Become a healthy food advocate</b>. When the public library served Hawaiian punch (and junk food) at a children's library event, my 2e son spoke to the children's librarian and suggested that perhaps they could offer something healthier. Raisins are often served now; previously they had served oreo cookies.<br />
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10. <b>Enjoy the holidays - or at least try to enjoy the holidays</b>. <br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop Parenting OEs, 2Es, and Everything in Between <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/parenting-oes-2es/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/parenting-oes-2es/</a>. For more of GHF's blog hops, see <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a><br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-80204878446987524102014-11-28T17:45:00.000-08:002014-11-30T18:44:17.435-08:00Ten Ways on How to Avoid the Buy, Buy, Buy...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This article is part of <a href="http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_holiday_gifts.htm">Hoagies' December Blog Hop: Holiday Gifts: Bye Bye Buy Buy!</a></div>
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Today is Black Friday (Nov. 28, 2014 - the day after Thanksgiving in the US). It's also notorious for the herd mentality buy, buy, buy day where people are trampled on for latest televisions, computers, and toys. To me, it's depressing. </div>
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This morning, a <i>BBC</i> article, <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/11/141124081032.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sciencedaily%2Fmind_brain+%28Mind+%26+Brain+News+--+ScienceDaily%29">'Black Friday': Police Called to Supermarket Crowds</a>, was a bleak read for me. This day and concept has now spread to the UK (where my husband is from, where I have lived, and my in-laws still live).</div>
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So how best to avoid this unfettered materialism run amok?? How to avoid that herd mentality? How to avoid the emotional tugs of needing the latest and greatest? </div>
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Since the spring/summer, I have been doing much research and reading about zero waste and refining my purge and resistance techniques. I think I've come up with some ideas. </div>
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1. Avoid as much media advertisement as possible. This is easier said than done. Even in dentist or doctor waiting rooms, there's usually magazines, such as <i>People</i> or <i>Family Fun</i>, with pages chockfull of holiday ads. </div>
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2. If possible, limit or ban television. We've been television-free for a little over a year now. We don't regret it for a second. My son watches videos online and can successfully avoid being a captive advertiser's victim. </div>
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3. AVOID shopping malls and big-box retail shops as much as humanly possible (preferably at all times, not just the holidays). If you actually need to buy some socks for your child/ren, then try to shop when you're pressed for time in one retail store, such as Target, and not subject yourself to impulse buying. Browse in a library NOT with retail therapy.</div>
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4. Consider shopping at charity, thrift or consignment stores instead of hitting the mall. If you shop at a charity or thrift store, it's often a double win situation where you and the charity benefits. You help others and the environment when you shop at charity and thrift stores, as well as your wallet.</div>
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5. Donate to charity. Clean out the cupboards. Remove the 'junk' from your home. Simplify your home and lifestyle. You'll feel refreshed and invigorated when you do.</div>
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6. Read, listen, or watch about the <a href="http://www.zerowastehome.com/">Zero Waste</a> movement. Embrace the motto: refuse, reduce, reuse, recycle, rot. </div>
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7. Read, listen, or watch <a href="http://storyofstuff.org/">The Story of Stuff</a> or about <a href="http://www.learner.org/interactives/collapse/garbageology.html">Garbage-ology</a>. Let's face it. We all have mounds of stuff in our home.</div>
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8. Visit a museum or attend a cultural event instead of giving a gift. The Nutcracker Ballet is a popular cultural event during the holidays around my neck of the woods.</div>
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9. Make a gift or create something homemade. DIY lip balms, lotions, teas, cough drops or anything else. My grandmother and great-grandmother would knit entire designer Barbie doll collection clothes and accessories for the holidays as well as mittens, hats, scarves, and sweaters. </div>
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10. <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a>!!! Best site for crafts, DIY, hobbies, and anything else. No one said you had to come up with a flurry of brilliant recipes or ideas for fairy houses. With <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a>, however, there are plenty of people who do and then post for others. So if you are tapped out of ideas or hard pressed for what to do with old sweaters, turn to <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a>. You can search under a subject/s (ie. DIY) or for a specific item like no-bake pumpkin cups. You can also follow someone's board. You'd be amazed how many cleaver people and cleaver ideas are posted there. And your wallet will be amazed too. </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: left;">This post was written as part of </span><a href="http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hops.htm" style="background-color: white; color: #377a3c; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">Hoagies Gifted Blog Hop</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: left;"> series. Follow </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/HoagiesGifted" style="background-color: white; color: #377a3c; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">Hoagies Gifted</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; text-align: left;"> on Facebook and join the conversation on how to keep holiday focus on what matters to us. Hop to the next blog in this blog hop clicking on the button below</span><br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-89428466968987968302014-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:002014-11-17T08:56:14.770-08:00Kaleidoscope Eyes and the Quantum 2E Revolutions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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During the last nine, ten years, it has been dizzying and exhilarating, both for the <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/">Gifted Homeschool Forum</a> (GHF) and for me personally with my 2e son. Since my son was born nine years ago and GHF was founded ten years ago, there have been many quantum leaps. The sheer volume and variety of educational, technological, and social networking opportunities have been nothing short of astounding. The changes for 2e children in particular have been nothing short of breathtaking. <br />
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Nine, ten years ago, Yahoo support groups were available when GHF was founded and a year later when my son was born. Fortunately, I found a couple of Yahoo support groups to help me with my son's special needs shortly after he was born. I needed help and support and I needed it immediately too. Time has not on my side. I knew that there had to be at least one other person in the country who had to find specialists, therapists, and treatments. So I googled. I then began a search and a very long journey. And what a journey that it has been.</div>
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I cannot begin to tell you how much those Yahoo support groups meant for me personally or ultimately meant for my son. To find and hear from another mother with a baby in my shoes at the time was priceless. Since then, I've continued to be a member of one of the Yahoo support groups and offer my support and guidance to others. I know the emotional pain and journey that many mothers face. Without that Yahoo support group I would never have found out that there were indeed other mothers like me with a wide range of conflicted emotions and who were struggling to cope and make heads and tails of the situation. I would never have found the courage to seek or have gotten the help that my son needed. I would never have found that <b>ONE</b> doctor in the country who doesn't dismiss what mothers like me know and have to say. I would never have found half the confidence or knowledge in making some of the tough decisions which we made. A revolution had certainly begun, I thought. <br />
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With a Yahoo support group, I had educated myself on my son's special needs from other mothers and became a kind of expert and authority over time by default. Before my son was born, I had never heard of my son's special needs. I had no preparation for it. I had no medical training and I hadn't even taken a science course since high school some 30+ years ago. Yet here I was: a new (but older) mother in New York City fielding advice from other mothers across the country (and world) via the internet on how best to treat and manage my son's special needs and find the proverbial needle in the haystack in terms of professionals, therapies, and treatments. It was simply incredible. <br />
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As I had become pregnant with my son in February 2005 (and GHF was was a few months old), <a href="https://www.youtube.com/">YouTube</a> was being founded and another revolution would soon ensue in four to five years when millions of videos and content became downloaded overnight. Of course, little did I know or even hazard to guess when <a href="https://www.youtube.com/">YouTube</a> came out in February 2005 that I'd have a movie clip of my four-year-old son trying to strum a guitar while watching a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_OHAkzfT_U">YouTube video clip of Luciano Pavarotti and Eric Clapton</a> singing a duet of the song, <i>Holy Mother</i>; the video clip was a recording of the duo which they had performed at a benefit concert in 1996. <br />
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With that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/">YouTube</a> video clip (and soon countless others to follow), I witnessed a more accessible, personalized type of learning for my son at home with the internet. Since my son was born with special needs and was in speech therapy at the time in January 2010, the video clip of Pavarotti and Clapton reached my son in ways that speech therapy could never do. Music bridged the gap and seemed to work miracles. My son watched Pavarotti and Clapton intently. He studied the music, the lyrics, their faces, their body language, their overall demeanor (not to dismiss Clapton's guitar playing!), and everything else it seemed. <br />
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At that point in January 2010, my son was four and in a special needs pre-kindergarten program in New York City. He was <b>not</b> identified as gifted, though he was considered 'bright.' I had had to enroll him in a special needs pre-kindergarten program after nearly going to court with the New York City Board of Education over his physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. Privately, he was receiving vision therapy and feeding therapy (and that's a whole other discussion for another time). <br />
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Within a year of my son watching that Pavarotti and Clapton <a href="https://www.youtube.com/">YouTube</a> video clip, though, I had an epiphany. By then, my son was five years old; we had moved (back) to Massachusetts; we had withdrawn my son from a special needs pre-kindergarten program in a public school and placed him in a private gifted school. We felt and had 'evidence' of our son being gifted. We had decided that he needed much more than a special needs pre-kindergarten program could or would ever be able to provide. At the private gifted school, however, where we had found a slot for my son, the curriculum seemed stuck and suddenly seemed dated to me within a sort time. The math curriculum consisted of workbooks and rote math facts and drills. It wasn't too different from the math curriculum that I had experienced as a child over 35+ years ago. <br />
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At home my son had been intently watching video clips from <a href="http://pbskids.org/cyberchase/">PBS's <i>Cyberchase</i></a> and picking up far more advanced mathematical terms and concepts than what was being covered in the private gifted school. I knew then that life had fundamentally changed and my son would be part of a groundbreaking generation. Although <i>Sesame Street</i> was televised soon after I was born and millions had viewed man's first step on the moon, the ability to travel virtually and metaphysically across time and space with digital technology seemed to come at warp speed and was unlike any previous generation had ever experienced as little ones. Even more staggering, my son's generation's is able to digitally connect with others and not be solely passive recipients to technology.</div>
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Today, my 2e son is being un/homeschooled and the educational opportunities seem endless. Ten years ago, there was no iPod, no iPhone, no iPad, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/">no Facebook</a>, no <a href="https://minecraft.net/">Minecraft</a>, no <a href="https://www.khanacademy.org/">Khan</a>, no <a href="http://ed.ted.com/">Ted-Ed</a> or <a href="https://www.ted.com/about/programs-initiatives/tedx-program">TEDx</a>, no <a href="https://www.edx.org/">edX</a>, and no <a href="http://www.worldscienceu.com/">World Science U</a>, of course: no nothing it seems now in hindsight! Though my son is an avid, voracious reader, his learning is not restricted to the printed word or a textbook or a set curriculum. If he likes, he can take a GHF course, watch a BBC documentary, or find out how to make volcanoes with <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a>. If he wants to learn how to speak Icelandic or about the history of indigenous Torres Strait Islanders, he can. He can learn at his own pace and rate. He can follow his interests. His learning has become more three-dimensional. It's more personal and individualized. At the moment, such learning would be impossible in a public or private school in our neck of the woods.<br />
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Such learning also would not have been so easy or effortless ten years ago or without GHF's help. Before I could even to contemplate un/homeschooling my son, I had to google again and find support groups. I had to hear from other parents, especially mothers, that I wasn't totally crazy. I needed to hear from another mother that: 1) I could un/homeschool my son and not totally lose my mind and 2) potentially address the special needs more effectively and efficiently by un/homeschooling and didn't necessarily need an army of therapists or teachers/tutors either. <br />
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Since I started un/homeschooling three years ago, I've been educating myself on giftedness with GHF's help and have become skilled at my son's giftedness too. I've found other 2e mothers and gained an amazing amount of knowledge and insight from them. I've had the comfort of knowing that GHF is there and that there have been others who have been through a similar journey or more like journeys. I can spot the traits of giftedness and know the many struggles that mothers often face: the identification journey, the public/private school journey, and the social/emotional journey. <br />
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If I ever get stuck with finding educational opportunities, needing support, or finding a child like my son, GHF is there. If I need a grain-free food recipe suggestion, a therapy tip, or a DIY craft or bar of soap, GHF connects me with <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a> and numerous resources. If I need to find a professional to consult, GHF provides a social network or a list or a contact. If I ever need to link a parent's face to their words, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/GiftedHomeschoolersForum">GHF's Facebook page</a> is there. In this respect, GHF is actually improving my life and no doubt the lives of many other people as well. It's really an exciting time to un/homeschool and be a part of GHF. Viva la quantum 2e revolutions!</div>
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's Tenth Year Anniversary and blog hop Finding Your <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/finding-community/" style="font-weight: bold;">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/finding-community/</a>. For more of GHF's blog hops, see <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a><br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-77533769871303290612014-09-13T16:02:00.001-07:002014-09-13T16:26:37.451-07:00The Strong Willed Child, Limit Testing, and Why Giftedness Matters<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>The Strong Willed Child, Limit Testing, and Why Giftedness Matters?</b><br />
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When most people hear the word gifted, they often think in terms of academic achievement and high scores on standardized tests or the externally motivated, high achiever, perfectionist. They don't usually think in terms of the strong willed child or the limit testing that gifted or 2e kids can do.<br />
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Not every child who is gifted is strong willed and not every strong willed child is gifted. However, being strong willed (aka stubborn) is a characteristic of being gifted or 2e. I'd say it's more a marker than any standardized test. And, let's face it. How many strong willed kids are <b>never</b> identified as being gifted or 2e because they, well, don't cooperate, aren't willing to please others, or score high enough on standardized academic achievement tests to be identified as gifted or 2e??? Probably many. And that's a travesty because these kids have so very much to offer once you figure out what makes them tick and can see the strong willed for what it is: a gift (one, not always cherished by parents admittedly).<br />
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Who are these kids and how do you know you have one? Why does this combination of being strong willed, limit testing, and giftedness matter so much? Well, for one, these kids are challenging and are often labelled as __(fill in the blank here with your favorite term or mis/diagnosis) by parents, siblings, schools, doctors, specialists, therapists, and other professionals. To put it mildly, they're not exactly a barrel of laughs to live with. The outbursts or tornado explosives can be daily and equivalent to a gale force five. Handle with care and the warning 'detonative material' would not go amiss. In a word, these kids are: INTENSE.<br />
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The carrot and stick approach doesn't work here. Rewards and punishments don't really either. Forget the behavior chart or much of anything in terms of what works with more compliant children. The strong willed child may indeed do algebra at home within nanoseconds and without any prompting or input from you, but be the same child who refuses to cooperate with being tested and pretends to barely add or subtract with their fingers with a standardized test. You don't know if you should laugh, scream, kill the kid, or do all or nothing in the end.<br />
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The strong willed child may tell a teacher that they don't need them or anyone else to learn because they simply can do it on their own accord. They beat to a different drum. They're intrinsically motivated. Standard methods of motivating a child do not apply here. If they're not invested or see the benefits in cleaning their room or brushing their teeth, then they're not motivated to do anything.<br />
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Most significantly, the word no does not mean much to these kids. The word no could mean yes or maybe to them. It could be misinterpreted with your voice and demeanor. To them, if you didn't spell out the bottom, repercussions, or consequences then you could say no numerous times to these kids but nothing sinks in or matters.<br />
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These kids often learn by doing and/or natural consequences. Firm limits and action are often better rather than words. Say what you mean, mean what you say and carry through with action.</div>
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And then, there's the questioning. These kids seem to question everything. They question your authority and every adult they encounter. And numerous times per day, every day, every week, every month, every year. There can be no end to their questioning of authority, of rules. The police. Yes, even the police, they question their authority. Who put them in charge anyway and who made up these stinking rules? And who would be in their right mind to agree or submit to them? <br />
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Put simply, these kids are often regarded as the defiant, rebellious, resistant, noncompliant, nonconformist, oppositional ones. They do not represent the 90% of kids in public schools who want to please the teacher and comply with what is being asked. And yet, ask many public school teachers who they would rather have: a complaint, cooperative, bright, high achieving, perfectionist child or a noncompliant, uncooperative, bright, under achieving child. Many times, they'll say the later because they can see the spark, the potential. <br />
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The real differences though, I think, with a gifted child who is strong willed (and this depends on the level of giftedness, of course, and any other factors or special needs), are the levels of persistence, intensity, and amplitude with their behavior. Nonetheless, these kids are born leaders and original thinkers and not simply followers. With time, these kids may be more amenable and receptive to being a temporarily, or at least tolerate it, but it's not in their nature, or nurture, to follow.<br />
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Some of the greatest minds and talented people were strong willed children once. And somehow, they lived and survived. That's not to say it was easy or wasn't World War III at times at home or with un/homeschooling for you. Can you imagine being the parent/s of Steve Jobs?<br />
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There are many books and websites that cover strong willed children. Pick up one of the latest books, <i>Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child</i> by Robert MacKenzie, at your local public library and grin at the references to limit testing being described as data collecting and researching like I did. If nothing else, you'll see that being strong willed is actually normal and that your child may be within the range of normal too.<br />
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This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's Blog Hop on Why Giftedness Matters? <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/</a><br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-88303402362233751982014-07-04T16:58:00.000-07:002014-07-04T16:58:49.031-07:00What Can Gifted Homeschooling Forum's Groups Do For You?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><b>What Can Gifted Homeschooling Forum's Group Do For You?</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">About a month ago, Gifted Homeschooling Forum (GHF) came out with groups. Members are able to join. That's the best darn deal you'll ever find for $24. Money well worth spent and to a good cause to boot.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Here's some reasons why you should support GHF and try out their groups:</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">1. You live in a city and/or state where giftedness isn't mandated. It can be very challenging to near impossible to find other gifted or 2e kids or parents if you live in such a state, unless your child attends a private school. Even then, it can be difficult to meet other gifted or 2e kids or parents because everyone seems so busy today. If you're un/homeschooling, you may find a few gifted or 2e kids around but perhaps you still don't feel your needs or your child's needs are being met? Then what? I say that's when you turn to a Gifted Homeschooling Forum group.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">2. You live in a rural or remote area in the US. Again, this is another very challenging situation where you may face great difficulty finding another gifted or 2e kid/parent. GHF has groups based on regions for the US. I live in MA, but have found others who are un/homeschooling with gifted and/or 2e kids in New England.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">3. You live outside the US with a gifted or 2e child. GHF supports a worldwide audience. There are groups for all corners of the world. A GHF group can really help families who live temporarily overseas or permanently reside outside the US. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">4. You've got a profoundly gifted (pg) child or 2e/pg child. These kids are, well, rare. In some places, you're able to find one or two or more around. In other places, you don't. Then, your pg or 2e/pg child may be a mathy or a budding astronomer, but it might be impossible to find anyone remotely interested in these topics or subjects like your child is or to the depth and breadth of them. This is when you scream HELP and join a GHF group.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">5. You've got an early college student or potentially one. Some states may be more welcoming than others to navigate with early college kids. On the other hand, it's nice to feel you're not alone in this situation. There's always someone here who knows the ropes and how to go through the hoops and process with an early college student. The GHF early college group can help ease your anxieties and give guidance and/or support.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">6. What about the elephant in the room? Those social-emotional challenges we deal with EVERYDAY. Let's face it. Raising a gifted or 2e child isn't always easy. There are days when you desperately need to connect to that one person who really understands and 'gets' it. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">6. What if you're un/homeschooling a gifted or 2e child who's into sports or you've got curriculum questions or have a gifted or 2e child who's in the awkward middle childhood stage? There are GHF support groups for you.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">8. What if you don't see any GHF groups that meet your needs? Easy. Create one! Initially, there wasn't a group for the MA/RI or southern New England region. I created one. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">So why would you join one of these groups and not just post something on Facebook or through the Yahoo Group page? </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">a) PRIVACY. You can send a private message to someone in a group. Yes, you could do this with Facebook or Yahoo, but these GHF groups are more specific to a region, subject, or topic. So they're more targeted. They're perhaps more precise and relevant to your search.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">b) They're more manageable and easier to use.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">c) They're fun!!!</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">This post is part of the <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/" style="color: #19258e; text-decoration: none;">Gifted Homeschoolers Forum</a> blog hop Gifted Parenting</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 23px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003333; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, FreeMono, monospace;"> (</span></span></span><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/gifted-parenting/">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/gifted-parenting/</a>)<br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-43050105095447299762014-05-28T17:28:00.001-07:002014-05-28T17:28:37.000-07:00Ditch the Worksheets, Become a Picasso, a Kindergartener, and a Gifted@play!<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Ditch the Worksheets, Become a Picasso, a Kindergartener and a Gifted@Play!</b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A huge outpouring of research and literature has been coming out on the importance of play and how it is essential to creativity, the arts and science, one's well being, and so forth. From <a href="http://www.richardlouv.com/"><i>Richard Louv</i></a>'s (www.richardlouv.com) work on children playing in the woods and getting back in touch with nature <a href="http://richardlouv.com/"></a> to <a href="http://www.cgu.edu/pages/4751.asp"><i>Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi</i></a>'s (http://www.cgu.edu/pages/4751.asp) older (but seminal) work on flow and creativity <a href="http://www.cgu.edu/pages/4751.asp"></a> much ink has been spilled. Yet even years ago, there were gifted trailblazers like <a href="http://opensource.com/education/13/8/open-education-ideals-peabody"><i>Elizabeth Palmer Peabody</i></a> who believed in the importance of play in the 19th century and based their life's work on it (my blog post for open source - http://opensource.com/education/13/8/open-education-ideals-peabody).</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">ps. in case you're not familiar with her, Elizabeth Palmer Peabody was the sister-in-law of author Nathaniel Hawthorne and educator Horace Mann who often overshadowed her. She was a gifted child and adult who became an author, bookseller, publisher, educator, a Transcendentalist, and a friend to the Ralph Waldo Emerson and the Alcott family.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Few things make my blood boil than seeing Elizabeth Palmer Peabody's <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">original mission and concept of kindergarten go up in flames with standardized testing and worksheeting children to death. Today, she must be rolling over in her grave. Her whole life's calling of bringing <a href="http://www.froebelweb.org/"><i>Friedrich Frobel</i></a>'s (http://www.froebelweb.org/) original concept of kindergarten (or children's garden) seem gone. Both Frobel and Peabody advocated that: 1) humans are creative beings and 2) play is the engine of real learning. Both ideals seem naive and redundant with standardized testing. And yet, Frobel and Peabody believed that play was not idle behavior but served biological purposes: to discover how things work and to help create meaning from their experiences. </span></span></span><br />
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This might be shocking but <a href="http://opensource.com/education/13/8/open-education-ideals-peabody"><i>Elizabeth Palmer Peabody</i></a> (http://opensource.com/education/13/8/open-education-ideals-peabody) believed that each child should receive an education appropriate to their innate capabilities. She believed in the intuitive nature of knowledge and that such knowledge had to be drawn out rather than imposed on children. These were radical ideas in the 19th and some would continue to find them as radical ideas today.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">What is particularly striking when you compare Frobel and Peabody's work on education (as well as the research and literature on the importance to play) and today's emphasis on standardized testing is how far they differ. Standardized tests are convergent; so are IQ tests. These involve solving well-defined, rational problems that have one correct answer. Worksheets and the drill-and-kill approach are examples of convergent thinking. For divergent thinking, by contrast, think Picasso, <i>The Muppets</i> or old school <i>Sesame Street</i>, the movie <i>Hotel Transylvania</i>, the <i>Captain Underpants </i>or <i>Horrible Histories </i>series, work by Richard Scarry or Roald Dahl - the 'way out there' stuff. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Then again, you might just read Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Creativity-Flow-Psychology-Discovery-Invention/dp/0060928204">Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention</a></i> (1996) (http://www.amazon.com/Creativity-Flow-Psychology-Discovery-Invention/dp/0060928204). Though it's a bit dated, Csikszentmihalyi conducted a large-scale study on 91 creative individuals who became eminent in their fields including some Nobel Prize winners. Ravi Shankar, Madeleine L'Engle, Freeman Dyson, Linus Pauling, Jonas Salk, Benjamin Spock, and many others were included in the study. Many such creative individuals are now dead but they were true innovators and/or highly influential in their domain.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Csikszentmihalyi pioneered the field of creativity and flow and what he found is especially relevant for gifted parents and kids: </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">1. All creative individuals remained childlike for life. The sense of wonder, the sense of play stayed. The feeling of awe stayed too. The intense curiosity never went away, even if one was 90 years old. Please gifted parents, keep this point in mind!!!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">2. The parents of Ravi Shankar and others did not push their children to study. The child's spontaneous interest led to the involvement. IF the parents had pushed or been more directive, it's very likely that the child's interest would have flagged and then evaporated.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">3. Interestingly, school had very little effect. Many in the study had no memory of a special relationship with a teacher. Many, too, were <b>not</b> identified as being gifted in school and/or as children.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">4. There is <b>no</b> single way to teach a domain or a subject. Instead, there are numerous ways to learn. Intrinsic motivation and rewards were/are key to learning.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">5. New ideas, new discoveries, new ways of thinking, new patterns, new relationships come from mind wandering and doing what you love. Filling out a worksheet isn't normally something a child loves, but is often busyness and not conducive to creativity.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Csikszentmihalyi looked at creativity across the life span and with gifted kids in his <i><a href="http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10009.aspx">Davidson article</a> </i>(http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10009.aspx) which parents might consider reading too.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">More recently, <a href="http://sirkenrobinson.com/"><i>Sir Ken Robinson</i></a> (http://sirkenrobinson.com/) supports some of Csikszentmihalyi's ideas on creativity and goes further by saying schools are killing creativity. He champions a radical rethink on educational systems across the globe to help nurture creativity in the digital age. He doesn't believe we should keep the status quo or continue worksheeting children to death. Instead, he values letting a child play, be curious and creative, make discoveries, and find their passion and calling in life.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When we think about becoming a Picasso, a Leonardo da Vinci or a gifted@play, we might consider that to be a creative genius you often have to be at the crossroads of the arts and the sciences. Great art and great science involve a leap of imagination and fantasy with a dose of reality. You need the openness, passion, and rebelliousness of a mad artist or a Picasso and the playfulness, innocence, energy, and humbleness of a kindergartener. And you don't need just one idea, you need many. As Leonardo da Vinci's drawings and work remind us: the sciences and the arts were not mutually exclusive to Renaissance humanists. Leonardo's artistic work was as impressive and innovative as his studies in science and engineering. Today, everyone seems to be leaping on the role and impact of science but neglect the role and impact of the arts in the process.</span><br />
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7304638017068369119" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7304638017068369119" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And yet what drives creative people like Leonardo da Vinci or Robert Ballard to the bottom of the ocean for the <i>RMS Titanic,</i> is curiosity and a burning desire to know. They are truth seekers. They want to know. They want to find the answers to their questions.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Famed paleoanthropologist Maeve Leakey summed it best, "exploration is an obsession. The more I discover, the more I want to know." In 1999 Leakey made discovery in Lake Turkana, Kenya that completely changed the understanding of early human ancestry. With her field and lab work, Maeve Leakey earned an international reputation in paleoanthropology, long a male-dominated speciality. From an early age, she had been fascinated by animal life, collected insects, and explored tidal pools with the encouragement of her father. She had planned to study marine zoology, but the 1960s there were no jobs open to women. Instead, her curiosity was piqued by advertisement in <i>The Times</i> of London by renowned paleoanthropologist Louis Leakey looking for a young zoology graduate to work near him. She was soon off to East Africa. How her life would be so different if she didn't stay a kindergartener at heart.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Parents of gifted kids, please take heed. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This is a blog post for Hoagie's Gifted@Play blog hop.</span></div>
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-11684528607056487932014-04-27T18:39:00.000-07:002014-05-01T07:45:04.554-07:00The Stickiness of the G-Word and the (2e) School Dance<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>The Stickiness of the G-Word and the (2e) School Dance</b></div>
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I don't know if you've ever dealt with the stickiness of the g-word and the (2e) school dance, but I have recently and it reminded me why it can be so awkward, difficult, and uncomfortable with a 2e child. It's that moment when you tend to avert your eyes and want to disappear.</div>
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What am I exactly talking about here? When I meet other parents at a playground or elsewhere, the discussion usually involves identifying our children and their current educational status: what school (public or private) they attend (or un/homeschool in our case). Within minutes, there's often a discussion on the school, teachers, curriculum, and so on and how the child's current educational status is panning out. I usually am on the receiving end of such discussions since I un/homeschool now and, as a result, have considerable flexibility and leeway with my son's education.<br />
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Usually, most parents (at least where I live) avoid using the G-word. In fact, Massachusetts is one of two states that does not recognize giftedness. There is no state mandate. There is zero state funding for giftedness. So the G-word is automatically a sticky word since the state doesn't acknowledge it and therefore doesn't set any definition, standards, or guidelines on it. <br />
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Only a handful of public schools in Massachusetts acknowledge the G-word. Brookline Public Schools, for instance, concedes that there are gifted children, but they do not formally identify students as "gifted and talented" for placement in a separate program as it's considered part of the regular Brookline curriculum. In Framingham, there is a classroom integration and pull-out enrichment program, but it very likely doesn't address all levels of giftedness or twice exceptional (2e) students well. More significantly, however, in order for a child to enter such program, they usually have to qualify for one. <br />
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Though other states acknowledge the G-Word, they usually make their own definition, standards, and guidelines for students to meet. On this point, Scott Barry Kaufman wrote an excellent article on who is currently identified as gifted in United States (http://www.creativitypost.com/education/who_is_currently_identified_as_gifted_in_the_united_states).<br />
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Standardized tests and IQ, unfortunately, remain supreme in identifying giftedness. When we were living in New York City, the gifted and talented test included the OLSAT and Bracken Readiness tests. <br />
Truth be told, before we moved (back) to MA and we were living in New York City, my son took the gifted and talented test at age 4 and did not qualify for the program. He was a special needs student then in an integrated pre-kindergarten student at a publicly funded school. The gifted and talented test was free and, at that point, I was heading to arbitration with the NYC Board of Education concerning my son's future educational placement for kindergarten. I had a hunch (ok, really more than a hunch) that he was a special needs child who was gifted or twice exceptional (2e) and it was going to be a serious challenge to find an appropriate school for him. We'd looked at special needs schools, such as Churchill, Gillen Brewer, and others but it looked bleak and this was partly why we moved back to Massachusetts: for our son's education, though we didn't bargain on it involving the G-word at the time.<br />
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When we moved back to Massachusetts from New York City shortly after the gifted and talented test, my son was a special needs student in a pre-kindergarten program in a public school and was not identified as a gifted or as being twice exceptional. As a special needs student, our son was tested at grade level on cognitive tests by the public school. The public school wanted to keep our son in the special needs for another year of pre-kindergarten because as I mentioned most children with late birthdays are redshirted and because he was exhibiting ADHD-like and PDD-like symptoms. But we had signs at home that our son needed a gifted education.<br />
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In Massachusetts, private schools have largely shoulder the gifted population; Hoagies' Gifted page is a great resource to find such schools (http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/schools.htm). With my son, we were very fortunate that my parents paid for him to attend two of the schools listed here. But we were less fortunate that neither school could accommodate my son and herein lies more stickiness with the G-word.</div>
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We actually did not know how gifted our son was until we had placed him in the first private gifted school listed on Hoagies' Gifted page for the remainder of pre-kindergarten. Many parents don't know how gifted their child is until they are put in such an environmental setting (private gifted school or equivalent) and presented with a 'gifted education.' You just don't always know how a child, especially a young child, is going to respond or react. Five-year-olds can be unpredictable! Needless to say, we were quite surprised when the first private gifted school informed us that they could not longer accommodate our son because he accelerated too quickly. Great.<br />
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What's not widely acknowledge within the gifted world, or general population at large, is that there is no effective one-size-fits-all mode of education. First, only a miniscule scattering of schools across the country can address the needs of extreme giftedness or twice exceptional kids like my son (http://asynchronousscholars.org/2011/08/why-is-it-so-hard-to-find-schools-for-profoundly-gifted-kids/). And second, (private or public) schools, by their nature, are designed to met a hypothetical average based on a neurotypical developing child for each grade and subject. My son was at a loss on both counts.<br />
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Schools are not based on outliers. On a large scale, such as with the public school system, it's inefficient and perhaps impossible to create curricula tailored to meet the individual needs of each student. On a small scale, it's perhaps possible to create curricula but then there are other variables that are often forgotten in the mix which a gifted or twice exceptional parent has to contend with: what the curricula actually entails, the way the curricula is presented (ie. linear and sequential?), the special needs, the other students, and on and on. So many of these variables are not in a parent or child's control. Public or private schools may work great if your child matches the school's curriculum or is willing to tolerate it, but it's less than satisfactory if your child comes home from school with stomachaches, headaches, depression, or other complaints of psychosomatic symptoms each day.<br />
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Worse, our current educational system and focus on standardized tests does little to nothing to foster passion, creativity, or what interests children as Scott Barry Kaufman and others have said (http://92yondemand.org/the-genius-debate-identifying-the-origins-of-genius/). And yet, what children learn best is what interests them, what they want and need to know at a particular point and time. Gifted, twice exceptional or not. But that's not how most schools operate. Though public and private curricula varies, there's still usually a developmental sequence of skills that's adhered -- addition and subtraction precede multiplication and division, for instance. There's still usually a teacher who leads or directs the instruction of educational material on what they students should learn. And while many private gifted schools are willing to accelerate a child ahead a couple of grades or more, they're less willing to accelerate a child five grades or more across every subject or even delve far and wide in a particular 'esoteric' subject as a child may like. <br />
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What's a gifted or 2e parent to do? Well, if you live in MA, you might try the public or private schools before un/homeschooling or you might just cut the chase.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #1f497d; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">Here it is! The long-awaited logo for the Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page Blog Hop for May 2014!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><img align="left" alt="cid:CB0A429C-BF57-4632-92E5-EA77310A681A" class="GH" height="125" hspace="12" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=c2474d7427&view=att&th=145af859bc61cd59&attid=0.1&disp=emb&zw&atsh=1" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgb(229, 229, 229) 0px 0px 0px 1px; box-shadow: rgb(229, 229, 229) 0px 0px 0px 1px;" width="216" /><u></u><span style="color: #1f497d;">This blog is part of the Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page inaugural Blog Hop on The “G” Word (“Gifted”). To read more blogs in this hop, visit this Blog Hop at <a href="http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_the_g_word.htm" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_<wbr></wbr>hop_the_g_word.htm</a><u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-74120116043662736202014-04-19T16:44:00.000-07:002014-04-19T18:25:16.261-07:00Steps for dealing with anxiety, feelings/emotions, and your 2e child<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="t_outer" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; clear: both; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 5px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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This is part of part of Gifted Homeschoolers Forum third blog hop of the year - Promoting Health and Wellness in the Gifted/2E Child</div>
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(http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/promoting-health-wellness-gifted-2e-child/)</div>
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<b>Disclaimer</b>: I am a parent of a 2e son; I don't have a medical or psychology degree or anything remotely connected to it unless a history or library degree counts. However, I have dealt with anxiety on my own and lately with my 8-yr-old 2e son. I was also raised by parents were emotionally challenged and never entirely understood. My 2e father and sister are on the Autism Spectrum and, as a result, still have a very difficult time expressing their feelings and emotions to me or anyone. So I say: ignore addressing emotions to your peril.<br />
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A lot of this blog covers dialogues, interactions, ways to talk to and listen to your children. If you're familiar with the book, <i>How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk</i> then you'll get it. If you're not familiar with the book and need some guidance, then you might pick up a copy at your local library or elsewhere.<br />
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1. Anxiety. The first step is the hardest and wouldn't classify as the simple part, I think. You, dear parent, have to come to grips with your own anxiety and perfectionism. You have to deal with your own dirty laundry and garbage, which most people consciously want to avoid! There's cognitive behavioral therapy. There are books, such as David Burns's <i>The Feeling Good Handbook </i>(http://feelinggood.com/) or Edmund Bourne's <i>The Anxiety & Phobia Handbook</i> (http://www.helpforanxiety.com/about_dr_Bourne.html). </div>
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We live in anxious times. There are tiger parents, helicopter parents, and so forth who seem to circle like anxiety vultures and usually only too eager to impart unwelcomed comments, suggestions, and advice. Then, there's the lackluster (or toilet) economy. It's feast or famine with jobs, it seems. Some pay but require ungodly hours and devotion. Others, well, don't pay. Medical benefits are great if they're included with employment, but it's a frigging nightmare if you've got none or close to none with any you may have. Generally speaking, the 'traditional' route to improving one's socioeconomic standards (ie. hard work and high achievement in a high performing, test happy school) is no longer a guarantee of future employment or material success. What's an anxious parent to do, but worry? <br />
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a) Anxiety/wellness - symptoms, sleep, diet, and exercise - I'm not forgetting!!! I'll just leave that for another blog/s or for someone else at the moment. There's enough here.</div>
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2. Identify feelings. If you accept the reality that we live in anxious times, how does that make you feel? Glad, mad, or sad? IF your child has a meltdown, does it make you feel glad, mad, or sad? Or how does a meltdown make your child feel - glad, mad, sad, or bad? Today, there are plenty of prompts, books and ways to help your 2e child identify their feelings. Help your child. A smiley face is a visual example of happiness or being glad :). A red piece of paper may indicate a child is mad!</div>
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3. Validate feelings. Yes, I can blow my top when my son has a meltdown. Put a check in the mad column. When my son has a meltdown, he doesn't make him feel too good about himself either. Put a check in the sad and bad columns for him. Let's think about this for a minute. A meltdown doesn't make you feel good. I don't like getting mad. I don't like seeing my son get sad or feel bad about himself. Still, it happens. And a child needs to know that these feelings are normal to have. They're going to come and go. Today there are cards, games, songs, and numerous ways for kids to validate their feelings if they're having trouble articulating or expressing them. <br />
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4. Share/express feelings. Try putting your feelings into words, drawings, or music. For a younger child or one is struggles verbally, even a simple gesture such as thumbs up or down can go a long way to help a child share how they're feeling. Or perhaps a particular song captures the words and feelings for a child that they're unable to articulate. IF a particular song seems to work, try to found why. The point here is to identify your feelings, validate them, and then consciously express them to yourself and/or others as possible. Easier said than done. Most of us don't really want to connect to our inner feelings and thoughts. And you get forget about feeling like you're getting naked and revealing your innermost being. Yet we expect kids to do this without some help and not wobble. </div>
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a) If you've got a persistent case or feel the potential for one, you might find a chart for dysfunctional thoughts or decide to make a daily record of them. <br />
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(http://thebookshare.blogspot.com/2007/09/how-to-use-daily-record-of.html)<br />
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5. Too negative feelings + too negative thoughts = (doo doo). Too much (doo doo) and well, we know the results. You do NOT feel good about yourself. You feel like doo doo. Too much of that and you'll topple and spin out of control. I don't think anyone likes feeling out of control. The trick here is recognizing how to avert that toppling and point where you're about to go over the edge. A two-year-old isn't capable of doing that and it's debatable how many eight-year-olds like my 2e son are either. Let's get real here. Many adults struggle with this too.</div>
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a) Scale. A good way to tackle the onslaught of negative feelings and/or overreactions is to have a 5-point or 10-point rating system. If you spill milk on the kitchen table, that may be a one or a .5. Yes, I don't like spilling my dairy-free milk or cleaning up the mess either, but it's really minor in the grand scale of things and doesn't warrant a 5 response (though a child may feel like it does). </div>
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Here, it's worth bearing in mind that many actions and decisions in life are reversible. Most things are not etched in stone. Even when things are etched in stone or irreversible, such as death, we can learn to cope with it as best we can. <br />
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b) IF a child's emotional needs are not being met and you're concerned about depression, don't hesitate to consult or see a professional. Everyone has the blues and down days but too much negative feelings and thoughts can veer into depression and be a real cause for concern with 2e kids. Children who are unable to express their feelings may externalize them with emotional eating, for example, when they're depressed or self-mutilation. Marianne Kuzujanakis has a great SENG article about this topic and I'm very grateful to her for it because I was able to identify psychosomatic symptoms with my son when he was in a private gifted school and his needs were not being met. I'm now un/homeschooling and the psychosomatic symptoms have disappeared.<br />
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SENG article - (https://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/where-does-a-pediatric-doctor-fit-in-the-care-of-gifted-children).<br />
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6. Reframe the distorted negative thoughts. Instead of the negative what ifs and catastrophizing, it's a case of I'll learn how; I can do it; I'll do my best. Counter the negative self thoughts with positive ones.</div>
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7. Good feelings + good thoughts = calmness. Of course, we, as adults, know that lemons can be made into lemonade. We can turn a negative feeling or thought into a positive or see a bright side. Many 2e children, however, struggle with this because their imaginations can run wild and they can dreamt up every unlikely possibility it seems. </div>
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8. Calmness. If you're calm, you're less anxious. As adults, we usually know how to calm ourselves down. We take a walk, go for a run, ride a bike, rake, or do some physical exercise. We might bake, draw, squeeze a ball, or do something with our hands. We might listen to music so we keep the peace in our heads. We might watch a video or go into our bedroom/bathroom and close the door so we don't have to (physically) look at our child for a few minutes. We might self-talk to ourselves. We might do some heavy breathing for a few minutes. We might lie down somewhere and close our eyes. </div>
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A child doesn't necessarily know these calming tricks or is aware of them. Or they just haven't reached the self-help and social/emotional milestones and developments. Other times, it's harder due to exceptionalities. So, with some 2e kids (and my son has been one of them), they can quickly wind themselves up but have no idea how to unwind themselves or how to stay on a more even emotional keel. </div>
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A 2e child can be INTENSE. Some 2e kids are super sensitive, emotional, overexcitable, and lack those internal switches or wiring to keep themselves calm. I know. I do know from experience. Weighted blankets, Epsom bath salts, fidgety toys, trampolines, and many other do-dads I'll call them can help to calm 2e kids. Keep experimenting until your child finds their inner peace and calm. Sensory integration disorder books can provide guidance on helping to calm a child. Occupational therapists who have training and experience with 2e kids or sensory integration can help too. My son was born with severe sensory processing disorder and spent five years in occupational therapy, including three years in a sensory gym. </div>
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<a href="webkit-fake-url://2DF0E1EB-65F7-480D-8728-7C0B703570D9/image.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>As difficult as it is at times, try to view these emotional sensitivities and overexcitabilites as assets rather than as (negative) deficits. I know, I can see the eye rolling now. But let's put this in perspective. <br />
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Can we name any adults who are emotional sensitive and overexcitable and yet have done wonderful things in life? I'll start (in no particular order here): Roald Dahl, Dav Pilkey (author of Captain Underpants), chef Gordon Ramsay, Steven Spielberg, Elton John, John Lennon - for the boys; Jane Goodall, Mary Leakey (paleoanthropologist), chef Rachel Ray, Grace Lin (writer), Tina Fey (humorist), Geena Davis (actress) - for the girls. I'm sure you can come up with a list too.</div>
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Half the battle here with a 2e child is getting them to recognize their feelings and when they're getting anxious. <br />
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http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/promoting-health-wellness-gifted-2e-child/</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">This post is part of the <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/" style="color: #19258e; text-decoration: none;">Gifted Homeschoolers Forum</a> third blog hop of the year - Promoting Health and Wellness in the Gifted/2E Child </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003333; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, FreeMono, monospace; font-size: 15px; line-height: 23px;"><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/?p=3285" style="color: #cc0000; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"> (blog hop</a>). </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/</span></div>
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How to Stay Motivated Un/Homeschooling with a 2e and Not Totally Lose It</div>
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1. <b>Cost-benefit analysis or reality check</b>. I do this nearly every day. I remind myself the reasons why I'm un/homeschooling: I've run out of alternative options. I did not initially set out to un/homeschool my son. I am un/homeschooling by default. This is a least-worst case scenario situation. My son's been in public schools and private schools. That's it.</div>
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IF my son were in school (private or public), he would be considered an underachiever or lazy. He is intrinsically motivated, not externally motivated by rewards and punishments. He is a divergent, independent thinker. He is a leader and definitely not a follower. He doesn't think linearly or always follow directions. He finds his own solutions and makes his own theories up.<br />
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With un/homeschooling, I can cater to his visual spatial strengths (http://visualspatial.org/spatialstrengths.php) and concentrate on the positives. He can be wildly creative. He can break the mold and work in unconventional ways. He can be beat to a different drum and not be penalized. The fiery fluctuations in mood, sensory overloads, and restrictive diet are not going away but they can be managed more effectively or at least that's the goal. I don't have to contend with the psychosomatic conditions (headaches, sleepless nights, depression) associated with an educational misfit either.<br />
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Schools, by their nature, are designed to shepherd students into schools of thought and into rote-based, sequential work. They're designed to provide structure and order. They're not designed for solitary thinkers or rebels. They're not designed to deal with flashes of more intuitive, irrational thought. Except for perhaps some, schools are not designed with highly spatial, creative abilities in mind; they're designed for kids who think in words, not in images. Moreover, emotionally sensitive and high strung kids are usually viewed as problems rather than assets at schools.<br />
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<i>NOTE</i>: I'm not trying to beat up on schools or teachers. I taught history as an adjunct instructor at a community college and state college as well as briefly at a public high school. I'm just speaking from experience here and talking about the reality of public education in general.<br />
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2. <b>Define terms yourself</b>. How do you define your child? Do you try to turn what's often seen as negative traits into positive traits? If not, I would encourage you do so. Help your child view themselves in positive terms with un/homeschooling. <br />
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With the vast majority of schools (either public or private), the child is expected to fit and adhere to the curriculum rather than the other way around. Schools, policymakers, or a school committee make the decision on what books children read, what curriculum to use and follow, what the frameworks or objectives are for each subject in each grade, and how much and what types of technology are used in the classroom. Choice? Not much. With un/homeschooling, it's the opposite situation.</div>
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The beauty about un/homeschooling with a 2e child is that you can create a curriculum (or free yourself from one) and environment that caters to them. You have a lot of latitude. If your child is a visual spatial learner, you are free to watch Ted Talk videos, for instance. If your child balks with rote-based learning, you can switch to more project-based learning or go unschooling instead. The world is your oyster. So if halfway through the year, you find yourself in a grind: Change course. Take a break. Try something else. Don't bang your head.</div>
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What is the definition of gifted or un/homeschooling? It's not as straightforward as you think. Some people can get hung up on the differences or ranges within the un/homeschooling world. To me, that's not important. To me, what's important is taking care of my son to the best of my ability that I can. That's my priority. </div>
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3. <b>Define or redefine routine or plan</b>. I have basically been scheduling or planning my life, and thus my son's education, around various therapies and appointments. That's one of the reasons why I laughed at the question of how to stay motivated with homeschooling: treating my son's special needs is partly my motivation. It's a maternal drive thing.<br />
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Oh, yea, I have more academic plans and expectations of my son with un/homeschooling. I do expect him to a read at least every day, maybe 15-30 minutes tops, on a mutually agreed upon book. I don't think this is arduous or an unrealistic expectation. Most days my son cooperates. Some days he does not. He's got other plans.</div>
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Do I wobble or panic about my son not cooperating with reading or doing more 'schoolwork'? No. I say to myself: eventually he will take responsibility for his own learning and become more self-directed. Give him time. Give yourself a break. Don't bang your head.</div>
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4. <b>Think in terms of development and keep notes</b>. Every time I think I'm not doing enough or somehow failing my child with un/homeschooling him, I remind myself of the gains he's made since September. I keep some track of what he reads and writes. I keep some track of any educational videos or games he watches, for instance. I keep some track of what he's doing for English, math, science, history, art, and music for myself and the local school department. I try to keep some track of this information in a wiki. It helps to look back at these lists (or quick mental lists) when I'm feeling blue, feeling anxious, or incompetent.<br />
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Every time I have a panic attack on my son's social/emotional development with un/homeschooling, I run through the list - which the public schools tend to ignore. My son's not suicidal. He's not depressed. He has some down days, but those don't stack up like chips anymore. He doesn't have to deal with bullies at school. He sleeps! He's not waking up in the middle of the night either. He doesn't have stomachaches or headaches. He can take recess any time and go to the bathroom any time and without a permission slip. He doesn't have to deal with fire drills or loud announcements. Most importantly, he's usually happy. He often skips or dances around the house if he's particularly happy. And that's what really makes un/homeschooling worthwhile. To see that utter joy and contentment that spills out of one tiny little body. It's bliss. Sorry, but screw the academics! What's more important?</div>
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5. <b>Survey Technique</b>. Sometimes I do a quick stock take. In other words, I ask myself are people going to judge my son based on whether he is un/homeschooled or whether he is a kind, caring, and compassionate person. I remind myself that the latter should be the case (hopefully) and that who cares when he's twenty-five years old whether he's been un/homeschooled. I also remind myself how many famous people have been un/homeschooled (or should have been!) - a laundry list here.<br />
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6. <b>Take care of yourself</b>. I have to take care of myself and be careful not to burn out or get overwhelmed or frustrated too much. Exercise. Journal. Join a support group. Meet other un/homeschoolers. Take breaks. Find creative outlets. Find how to restore your inner peace and calmness. Learn new things. Explore. Discover. Dream. Don't doubt yourself or your abilities. Don't bang your head against a wall. Forgive yourself for raising your voice or tearing your hair out. Remind yourself that you are human and make mistakes. Protect your sanity!!!<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br />This post is part of the <a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/" style="color: #19258e; text-decoration: none;">Gifted Homeschoolers Forum</a> first blog hop of the year - Staying Motivated throughout the Homeschool Year </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003333; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, FreeMono, monospace; font-size: 15px; line-height: 23px;"><a href="http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/?p=3285" style="color: #cc0000; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"> (blog hop</a>).</span><br />
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http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blog-hops/staying-motivated-year-homeschooling/<br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-26888718670130912612014-02-05T17:28:00.002-08:002014-02-13T12:43:42.344-08:00How Breakfast With the Beatles Helps Restore My Sanity<div style="text-align: center;">
How Breakfast With the Beatles Helps Restore My Sanity</div>
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Every Sunday, or nearly, we eat breakfast while listening to the radio program: Breakfast With the Beatles on Boston's 100.7 WZLX (http://wzlx.cbslocal.com/show/breakfast-with-the-beatles/) and it helps restore my sanity. That may seem dumb, but it's not to me. Each week I look forward to this show: the music and the fascinating tidbits of information that are imparted by the local deejay.</div>
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This may sound corny, but I feel like Breakfast With the Beatles enables me to metaphysically travel to another place, time, and space. It's a radio program. How many people today actually sit down in the house and listen to an hour-long radio program? Well, we do. And we do it every week. What's more, I didn't grow up with the Beatles and neither did my husband. We weren't even fans of the Beatles growing up. </div>
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Breakfast With the Beatles takes me to a time when life wasn't so frenetic or at least didn't seem so. It takes me back to images of my grandparents growing up during the Depression and listening to radio programs. It takes me back to a time when there was less technology in people's daily lives. It takes me back to England, my husband's homeland, and to Lancashire, my ancestral roots, and the irresistible Scouse accent. It puts me in a different frame of mind, even if it's only temporary. I can daydream. I can pretend. Or perhaps fool myself into thinking I'm 'normal' and part of a majority.</div>
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On Sunday morning, we don't try to hurry about or at least not for an hour or so. We (ie. husband, son, and me) sit down and eat egg-banana pancakes (two eggs, one banana) or scrambled eggs and homemade sausages. We try to eat leisurely. We try to focus on the moment and the positive; not on the negative or what needs to be or to get done. We forget about the specialists, the therapies, the various appointments, what our son is or is not doing or is supposed to be doing, and everything else that seems to consume our lives during the week. We take a time out. We just let it be.</div>
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February 9, 2014 marks the 50th anniversary of the first appearance of the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show. Neither my husband or I watched the show then. We weren't even born yet, though my husband's sister was. An estimated 73 million Americans tuned in, the largest ever for a TV show at the time.</div>
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Today, we don't even have a television in our house. We got rid of our television. So it's not possible to watch such a program unless it's online. Ok, so 98% of Americans still own and watch television (http://stateofthemedia.org/2012/audio-how-far-will-digital-go/audio-by-the-numbers/). I don't care if I'm in the 2%. In fact, I relish it!! <br />
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Television is an old form of technology and a mass television audience, in time, will be a thing of the past. Television may distribute ideas or information through visual means, but that content is often questionable. Radio is, of course, an even older means of obtaining information, but that audio content is still governed by the FCC (Federal Communications Commission - http://www.fcc.gov/encyclopedia/faqs-radio), for the time being, and therefore there are limits on what can be transmitted. This may make me sound prudish (which I'm not) until you think about the salty language that the Beatles often used, though usually avoided in press interviews.</div>
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My son will still grow up with radio and listening to rock and roll, but not with a television in his house. Perhaps it's that metaphysical connection to the past and to an older, more simpler form of technology with radio which pulls me to a listening to Breakfast With the Beatles each Sunday morning. Perhaps it's the fact that millions, if not billions, of people can relate to the Beatles or to the music and this is an easy way for kids like my son to make small talk and feel like being a 'normal' member of a larger society. </div>
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Music has a way that crosses geographical or generational lines. It has a way of tapping both sides of the brain and bringing emotions to the fore. It's hard not to get sentimental when you sing "Good Night" and learn that John Lennon originally wrote the song as a lullaby for his 5-yr-old son Julian (who was also musically gifted) as his first marriage was falling apart. Music has a way of capturing the heartstrings that words do not. It has tremendous power over memory. It had a way of reaching my grandmother when she had dementia in the nursing home. My grandmother's ability to recall old Scottish tunes, which the family had never heard previously, and start singing them bridged an emotional gap. That music enabled us to make an emotional connection with my grandmother and see beyond the dementia that no words could do.</div>
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Music by the Fab Four seems to go a few steps further than just crossing geographical and generational lines. It is timeless. The profound legacy of The Beatles cannot be underestimated. Not only did they inspire and define a generation, they inspired many future generations as well. Many musicians today can trace their musical interest and roots to the Beatles.</div>
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John Lennon, in particular, holds a special place in people's hearts and minds, including us. Our son seems to embody him. Lennon was twice exceptional: being creatively gifted and having visual impairments like my son (though so far my son doesn't have the musical gifts). Lennon was the 'lazy' one, an underachiever in school. He was the rebellious one. He had vision, intellect, angst, and eccentricity wrapped up in one. He didn't want to keep practicing to be perfect like Paul McCartney did. He wasn't meticulous, organized, or disciplined like McCartney either. If he wasn't inspired or under pressure from producer George Martin, he often didn't bother to sit down to write a song. But when he did, oh my, what creative masterpieces.<br />
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Of the four Beatles, Lennon was the leader and the one who wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was the artist. He was the one who did things to extremes. I try not to dwell on his addictions, his wild side, or how his relationship with his first wife Cynthia Lennon and Julian soured after he married Yoko because it hurts. The man had warts. He drove people crazy. Still, I can relate. He seems, well, so human and not some mythical figure to me. And frighteningly reminds me of my son's traits and tendencies.<br />
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How four creative, musically gifted lads of Liverpool formed one of the greatest bands in history is truly a story to tell and share. If your child hears the details of the struggles of Fab Four's upbringing as individuals and then as an emerging band, perhaps your child will feel less alone. There really are people who come from the Dingle (inner-city working class neighborhood in Liverpool where Ringo was raised) and council (government) housing who made it to the upper echelons of society and to the big time. Out there, some place, some time, there have been others like them who forged ahead -- even when the chips were stacked against them and their future success and life was anything but inevitable, not by a long shot. And maybe that's it about The Beatles: it's the story. As Pete Seeger (who recently died) once said, "the key to the future of the world is finding the optimistic stories and letting them be known."</div>
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-18140093512518020822013-11-08T16:01:00.004-08:002013-11-08T16:51:03.014-08:00Holidays, 2e, and the Man in the Red Suit<div style="text-align: center;">
Holidays, 2e, and the Man in the Red Suit</div>
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I didn't think I'd be dealing with the Man in the Red Suit on Nov. 2nd (the day before my son turned 8 years old), but I did. Or we did. My husband, 2e son, and I went to a local church fair. The Man in the Red Suit was there - at least upstairs on the second floor and out of sight of the first floor where the fair was held. Still, I didn't think about potentially seeing Santa Claus on Nov. 2nd. That's two days after Halloween. That's too early in my book. I don't care if it's a local church fair or not. Actually, that's beyond too early for me.</div>
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When we entered the local church fair, Santa Claus was on the second floor, upstairs. I thought the coast was clear. I thought, "phew. We can quickly scan the booths without bumping or encountering Santa and then leave without an ordeal or a meltdown." After all, the booths for the fair were located on the first floor or downstairs. They were out of sight of Santa. Well, that's what I thought. Of course, it didn't entirely work out that way.</div>
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When one of the women running the church fair mentioned to my son that Santa Claus was there, I wanted to kill her and then Santa Claus. I know that's not very charitable or Christian of me. I'm sorry. I had it that day. As soon as she had said that Santa Claus was there, my 2e son went crazy and had a meltdown leaving. And I knew we would. It didn't matter that it's not the real Santa Claus on Nov. 2nd or, in my book, a 'helper' or whatever you want to call it. </div>
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Rationality went out the window. My 2e son lost it. He insisted that it was the REAL Santa. My husband and I were destroying his hopes and dreams by thwarting him to see Santa. I wanted to scream and burn down the church. Then expunge any future Santa Clauses as well. I know. This sounds kind of harsh. Sorry. </div>
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I now dread Santa Claus and the sensory over stimulation and hoopla with the holidays. I agree with Psychology Today's article about ending the Santa Claus myth (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-well/201209/is-telling-kids-santa-claus-is-real-bad-idea). Personally, I'm all for it. It's just too much on some kids like my 2e son. He gets overexcited and then has difficulty unwinding and coming down to earth.</div>
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So how do you cope with the hoopla and excitement with the holidays with a 2e child? I try to avoid Santa Claus encounters like the plague. In our family, we keep the holidays under wrap, as simple, and minimalist as possible. We don't have ornaments or tree up until the last minute. That's 12 days or so before the holidays in our home. Even then, we have a cheap, plastic tabletop Christmas tree which my husband and I bought at Walgreen's for $2.50 years ago. That's enough, we say. We don't do big holiday dinners or big family events. We're not really able to do big family things anyway since neither side lives near us; my husband's family is in the UK. So we Skype.</div>
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For Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, we try to keep things simple. I cook a lot of vegetables and dishes ahead. I don't cook a turkey or go all out. Sometimes we have Indian curries. Sometimes we don't. Last year was our first holiday season being dairy-free, grain-free, nearly sugar-free, soy-free, corn-free, and anything-else that I can't remember free. We still had butternut squash, peas, and carrots, but we skipped the overindulgent food and high-fat/high-sugar/high-everything else foods of prior years. We substituted black bean brownies and grain-free chocolate cake for what we previously had. None of us had the sugar highs or lows or other effects and we were better for it.</div>
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One of the hardest parts, though, are the presents. Even though we try to curb and circumvent the presents, it always seems like my 2e son gets lots. My husband's family sends us the packages weeks before my son opens them. I literally lock them away in a room until December 25th. This helps. We shuffle presents around and hide various ones if my son seems uninterested in them. This helps too. I still hate it though and it still seems too much.<br />
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What else can we do to cope? Keep your expectations low. Like rock bottom if necessary. In the UK, I could avoid Thanksgiving. They don't go overboard with the holidays either. A few outside lights and people think it's Las Vegas. Here, it's unreal. So keep things in perspective. Many Americans overindulge and go overboard. It doesn't mean you have to as well.</div>
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-13022154516289802312013-10-29T09:01:00.001-07:002013-10-29T09:43:09.309-07:00How to deal with MA school officials and paperwork with un/homeschooling<div style="text-align: center;">
How to deal with MA school officials and paperwork with un/homeschooling</div>
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Last year I was a newbie to un/homeshooling in MA. I felt somewhat confident in what I was going to do. I saw a 2e expert last June and she advised me to loosely follow a general curriculum series for some structure. I have nearly a master's in education due to all those required education classes years ago that I need to obtain a MA certification. I taught history briefly in a public high school. I regularly read about education to stay current in the field and expose myself to new practices and methods. </div>
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Every state makes their own rules and requirements with un/homeschooling. In MA, parents are required to submit an education plan to local school officials and obtain approval. They do not need to submit this paperwork before they seek approval to un/homeschool though. Parental rights regarding un/homeshooling and is based on case law. </div>
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Since school authorities must review and approve a parent's education plan for un/homeschooling, many parents (mothers) like myself fall or have fallen into a trap or cycle of seeking approval, affirmation, and acceptance from an authority. We don't see ourselves as holding authority. We still think others hold power over us and that we're still children in school. We're afraid of being sanctioned or hauled into the principal's office for failing in our duties and responsibilities. We still feel the need to justify our reasons and be responsible to others. We want validation that we are doing the 'right' thing. </div>
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So what do we do? We go crawling to school officials. We seek their care, protection, and approval to do the 'right' thing. We ask if their is paperwork to un/homeschool. We seek their permission to un/homeschool even though we've already been legally granted and bestowed the right to do so from the courts.</div>
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Last year I played this game too. I went to school officials and filled out their forms for homeschooling. I didn't legally have to do this and it was an overreach by the local school officials. But like many, I wanted to make my life easier and gain quick acceptance and a stamp of approval from school officials. I wanted to un/homeschool without any hassles. It seemed easier to fill out their paperwork and follow their rules and authority. I was naive and later kicked myself for having these thoughts.<br />
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I, of all people, felt should know better as a special needs mother! When we were living in NYC, I had to obtain a lawyer to advocate for my son Malcolm to get services. At the time, Malcolm was being phased out of Early Intervention. The NYC Board of Education wanted to slash his physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech. We were already paying out of pocket for the feeding therapy and later vision therapy. In NYC, the word is to advocate. And by golly, do special needs mothers know how to advocate in NYC!! Some of these women are the most savviest you'll ever come across.</div>
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In spring, I filled out the forms but in September I got a letter from school officials telling me that the previously submitted form was no longer valid and needed to submit another form with a lot more details and information. I was livid. These forms required me to list printed textbooks, curricula, and a lot of other information that I was not prepared to give. There was also a homeschool support group sheet that specified two religious homeschool support groups (Catholic and Muslim) which I thought had crossed a boundary and bridge between what the separation of church and state and what freedom of conscious/ choice is; we don't stipulate particular religious homeschool support groups and not others, I thought. </div>
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Initially I ignored the letter and refused to submit their newly revised application form to homeschool. The law was on my side, I told myself. Then, I did some self reflection on why I was seeking their authority and approval and not being more assertive, pro-active, and responsible for my actions and decision to un/homeschool. <br />
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But then the last Friday in September came, I got a voice mail message from the school department: I had not enrolled my son in public school or in homeschooling. They asked me to phone or submit paperwork asap. At first, I laughed. I didn't know I had to actually enroll my son for un/homeschooling! On the Saturday, I went to an <a href="http://www.ahem.info/index.html">AHEM Conference</a> and became more confident in dealing with the school. <br />
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It dawned on me at the AHEM Conference that I'd been neglecting being an advocate for my son like I had been in NYC with special needs. As a special needs parent in NYC and in MA, I automatically received a parental guide from school officials any time we had a meeting or dealt with the paperwork. No such paperwork or guide is offered with un/homeschooling. Nationally and locally, school officials are only too aware that special needs parents obtain lawyers and will pursue lawsuits to get services for their children. School officials know that parents will sue. With un/homeschooling, it doesn't work this way. With a special needs child, you often have to obtain services through the public schools, who still hold control over whether a child qualifies for services or not. With un/homeschooling, you're not seeking services. You're merely seeking the public schools to process and authorize your paperwork to un/homeschool. You are effectively your own principal, teacher, and school for your child/ren.<br />
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So after the AHEM Confernce, on the first Sunday in October, I mailed another <a href="http://a2efoxrevived.blogspot.com/2013/10/education-plan.html">education plan</a> to the local school officials based on <a href="http://www.ahem.info/EdPlanSample2.html">AHEM's sample</a> and with <a href="http://a2efoxrevived.blogspot.com/2013/10/letter-to-assistant-superintendent-for.html">a letter</a> about my parents rights and duties, their respective rights and duties, and their legal overreach with their paperwork. In the letter, I stated that I had already submitted an education plan and that this was the second notification of my intent to un/homeschool. I erred on the side of caution and said that perhaps they were misinformed about what I was required to submit. I included the various case laws in the letter and informed school officials with my prior contact with the ACLU over my rights and freedom of conscious.<br />
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By Tuesday, I had received a letter from the local school officials informing me that my education plan had been approved. I like to think that my letter tipped the balance, but it's hard to say.<br />
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It's nearly the end of October and I've finally managed to find time to write a blog on it. Do I get partial credit for it? Well, here's my advice to anyone who is planning to un/homeschool and deal with school officials:<br />
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1. Find out what are your legal rights. Homeschooling is a legal option in every state, though each state follows its own laws and/or guidelines with it.<br />
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2. Find out what you are legally required to submit. I'd suggest following the letter of the law. <br />
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3. Remember, you have parental rights and authority. Remember, you do not need to humbly seek permission to homeschool your child. You already have the right bestowed on you.<br />
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4. In MA, remember the burden of proof rests with school officials to prove that your education plan does not offer the same thoroughness and effectiveness as the public school. <br />
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a) You do not need to replicate the offerings of the public schools. In other words, school officials need to prove before a court of law that what you list on your education plan does not offer the same rigor as the public school. If you were to list my<a href="http://opensource.com/education/13/4/guide-open-source-education"> free and open source guide </a> or Rebecca Rupp's book, <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Home-Learning-Year-Homeschool-Curriculum/dp/0609805851">Home Learning Year by Year</a></i>, it would be impossible for a judge to dismiss your education plan as lacking in thoroughness, effectiveness, or rigor of the public schools. <br />
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b) You do not need to use or list any textbooks or curricula. You are not legally required to use any. In fact, the law says non tangible educational materials are often more effective than printed textbooks.<br />
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5. Create a paper trail. Document your words. Put everything in writing. <br />
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6. Laugh. Put things in perspective. The number of un/homeschoolers in MA is still small. Many school officials may be misinformed, misguided, and overzealous in their duties. The law is on your side though. The burden of proof is on them; not on you as an un/homeschooler.<br />
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7. Find support. An AHEM Conference is a great place to vent, meet others, and gain confidence!!!<br />
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Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-64666818212829483572013-10-11T08:03:00.001-07:002013-10-11T08:03:26.353-07:00A Cattle Prod or a Magic Wand?<div style="text-align: center;">
A Cattle Prod or a Magic Wand?</div>
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Last week I had wanted a cattle prod. I couldn't motivate my nearly eight-year-old 2e pg son to put his socks and shoes at all. I gave numerous prompts and notices. I reminded Malcolm that we could not go anywhere without his socks and shoes on. This did not make the slightest bit of difference to him. It didn't matter that he needed to put his socks and shoes on so we could meet friends at the playground. And neither did the fact that we were running out of time to catch a bus for the playground either. <br />
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For once in my life, I had wanted to save my sanity and restore my faith that Malcolm could put his socks and shoes on within 5 minutes or less. I don't think it's unreasonable to request this, especially since Malcolm's shoes have velcro straps. Instead, it took him 20 minutes or more to put on his socks and shoes. He was like a lump of potatoes. I just couldn't shift him. I wanted to cattle prod him. Of course, I was beginning to wonder if things would ever change or if I would have an eighteen-year-old son who would spend more than 20 minutes putting on his socks and shoes. <br />
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By the time we had finally managed to get out the door and reached the playground, I had desperately wanted a magic wand. Malcolm had darted absentmindedly across the parking lot. He hadn't paid any attention to the driver or cars entering and exiting the parking lot. Did he care that he could have gotten killed or seriously hurt? No. I don't think so. Is this one of every parent's fears? Yes. But as a parent of a 2e child this type of situation is often magnified. The message - we don't dart in front of cars or in a parking lot, period - did not enter Malcolm's mind and was never processed, it seemed.<br />
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All the hard work, time, and energy spent effort spent on safety awareness and self-regulation had vanished before my eyes in a blink. All the years of occupational therapy, vision therapy, and neurofeedback were for naught, it seemed. Immediately, my mind flashed to living in NYC and the numerous times Malcolm wanted to fly down subway stations or veer off on subway platforms when he was between two and four years old; those times when I was convinced he wasn't going to live to five and instead be tragically killed in an instant. Those times I had wondered if Malcolm would ever gain the remotest sense of safety awareness or self-regulation skills. Would the severe sensory processing deficits ever improve within my lifetime or my son's, I had wondered. Would things ever get better? But, of course, they did. It just took a loooong time and a lot of therapies. And it took a lot of hard work, time, and energy on my part. Things have gotten better and while the sensory processing is no longer severe as it once was, it's still frustratingly there.<br />
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Most parents face these worries and struggles with their child/ren, but for those of us who have or have had kids with such worries and struggles can seem relentless and never ending. It's the constant daily battlegrounds with safety awareness, self-regulation, self-control, self-help skills (ie. putting shoes on), the attentional deficits, the lack of the body in space concept, and the list goes on and on. Will it ever end, you wonder? Why can't my kid just be so 'normal' like the others, you ask.<br />
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With these kids, the neurological wiring seems to be faulty or gone haywire. At times, nothing seems to click. There doesn't seem to be any internal switches like other 'normal' kids seem to have. Other times, everything seems to click or be switched on. And there doesn't seem to be any internal off buttons. You throw your hands up in the air. You cry. You scream. Your tear your hair out. Then, you decide to sit down. You decide to take it one day at a time or as much as you can humanly handle. You get help. You get therapy or numerous therapies. You find support. Things do improve, but often at a snail's pace. Over many years, you look back and say, "wow, I can't believe we made it and did it." Gee, I wish life was easier.<br />
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As a parent of one of these kids, you often feel like you're entitled to some neurological replacement parts or at least a daily personal assistant for fortitude in dealing with numerous ordeals and chronicles of daily life. At times, you're just grateful for a shoulder to lean on and for those receptive ears to hear what you have to say. That one person who has walked in your shoes or at least similar ones. That one person who knows what it's like to have a child who may totally melt and lose self-control when other kids have no clue about Mycenaean Civilization (what's that?), never mind pretend to re-enact it. <br />
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How many, many times would I have felt more in control with a cattle prod and/or a magic wand or deal with the ups and downs of daily life. And how many, many times would I like others to accept and compute the child who is out-of-sync yet has an upside-down brilliance which others find baffling.Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7304638017068369119.post-91522535960630023192013-09-15T17:27:00.001-07:002013-10-16T13:59:28.960-07:00Carry On George, the Bowditch Man: we will miss youSunday, Sep 15th:<br />
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We got to First Church (UU) and we found out that George, who we recently met at church, died yesterday. I am sad. George welcomed us (my husband, son, and me) into the UU church about a year ago. In fact, George was the first person to welcome us into the UU church.<br />
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Now, there were a lot of things special about George: he was a very kind, caring, friendly (though a shy and somewhat reserved) man. He had a warm smile. He had a way of striking up a conversation. He had a twinkle in his eye. He was probably close in age to my parents and in-laws so I felt an affinity with him.<br />
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What made George special, for me personally and my son Malcolm, was the fact that he was the Bowditch man. In the spring, my son Malcolm (2e/pg) read <i>Carry On, Mr. Bowditch</i> with me. He loved it. I loved it. I felt relieved to read about a kid like my son. I felt relieved that there have been others who were very bright, self-taught, and had made a difference in the world without going to Harvard or acing the SATs. It's a really remarkable story if you're not familiar with it. With reading about Nathaniel Bowditch, I could see the similarities between my son Malcolm -- the eagerness and intensity to learn jumps out -- and Bowditch's insatiable appetite to learn for the sake of his own enjoyment and pleasure. <br />
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Now I don't normally tell people what books we're reading or what my son is doing. It can sound like I'm boasting, bragging, or like I'm telling a bunch of porkies. So I normally don't say anything to anyone. That's part of the unwritten social rules I've mastered with having a 2e/pg kid. We don't normally disclose what our kids are doing.<br />
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I can't remember exactly when or why I felt comfortable telling George that Malcolm and I were reading <i>Carry On, Mr. Bowditch</i>, but at some point I did. I had mentioned that we're un/homeschooling and he didn't raise an eye. Of course, I was completely relieved when he didn't question why Malcolm and me were reading it. When he actually wanted to talk to Malcolm about Bowditch, I was delighted. George told Malcolm and me that he found Nathaniel Bowditch really interesting and fascinating. He studied him. He looked at Bowditch's personal papers and had digitized some of his works to make them more accessible and available to those who were interested in learning about Bowditch, his life, and story.<br />
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When the Friendship (a replica of a East Indiaman sailing vessel) was free for a day in the spring, we went and visited the ship to find George onboard as the Bowditch man. George told us that he volunteered on the Friendship. He loved it. He loved showing visitors and Malcolm how to use the sextant like Bowditch did. He loved talking about Bowditch and his remarkable life.<br />
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I didn't know this information until today (Sunday), but George was the director emeritus of the Laboratory for Particle Physics and Cosmology (High Energy Lab) at Harvard. He never told us. George was very likely gifted and not too different from Malcolm as a child, though he never said. Unfortunately, he probably did not feel comfortable telling us about his giftedness, his prior academic life and position, or knowledge because it isn't always valued or welcomed by others, though it would have been by me and my son. While this was someone we knew for year or so, in a strange way we felt like we had always knew him. And I can't help thinking about Larry Dossey's work on the the concept of the "nonlocal mind" and how this mind is not confined to the brain and body but how minds spread infinity throughout space and time -- because there's another connection between place, space, time and Bowditch, George, and Malcolm, and me that's here.<br />
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Now I know why George had a special place in our heart. My son could relate to George and vice versa. They were kindred spirits and thinkers. Without another adult gifted role model at my doorstep or on the horizon, this makes the passing of George tough. And without any grandparents around, this makes the passing of George all the more sadder. <br />
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Carry On George, the Bowditch Man, we will miss you.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', 'Nimbus Sans L', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: 'Droid Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', 'Nimbus Sans L', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px;">former director of the High Energy Physics Lab at Harvard.</span><br />
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<br />Carolynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04712136884516731472noreply@blogger.com0