Monday, November 13, 2017

The Frustrating Discussion Dialogue: No Wonder My 2E Child Feels Misunderstood!

The Frustrating Discussion Dialogue:  
No Wonder My 2E Child Feels Misunderstood

Every time I have to give details or a more involved explanation on my 2e son's special needs and giftedness, I cringe.  I sigh.  I tailspin.  

My 2e son is twelve and I've been having this same frustrating discussion dialogue for a long time.  Too long really.  

It should be easy and simple for me now, but it is not.  We've just moved (again).   I have to register my son with a new GP.  I am dreading it.  I have to go through the laundry list again and get the glazed doughnut eyes and the blank stares again.  Every time it's the same song and dance.

The frustrating discussion dialogue usually goes like this:  

"Yes, my son was diagnosed with x, y, and z."   "

Yes, he was diagnosed at birth with __ and then at 3 years old a developmental pediatrician diagnosed him with __ ."

"Yes, my son had IQ testing, at age 6."

"Oh, yes, they diagnosed him with ADHD and PDD."

"Well, yes, he has some of the ADHD and PDD traits and behaviours but we sought a second opinion and then a third on those diagnoses and on the giftedness.  Yes, __ ruled out ADHD and __ ruled out PDD."

"No, my son doesn't actually have ADHD and isn't on the spectrum.  Yes, he does have some of the traits and behaviors.  Yes, we looked into medication for the ADHD, but my son doesn't have ADHD and so we sought alternative treatments and solutions for the ADHD behaviour and traits.  Yes, he isn't on any medication now."

"Yes, my son attended school., but we withdrew him from school at 6.5 years old and have been homeschooling/home educating him since then."

"Yes we homeschool/ home educate.  Yes, it's a lot of work."

"Yes my son meets up with other (homeschool) kids regularly:   On Monday, we do __.   On Tuesday, we might go __....."

For years and years and years, I have had the same frustrating discussion dialogue with various pediatricians, GPs, and other professionals.

For the record, from birth to twelve, there has never been a discussion with a pediatrician or GP about my son's giftedness or how the ADHD and PDD traits may be related to my son's giftedness.  There has never been a discussion about the overexcitabilities or the asynchronous development associated with son's giftedness.

Except for the occupational therapists and eye doctors (three behavioral optometrists and three ophthalmologists between NYC and MA - which is another frustrating dialogue!), there has never been a discussion about the severe sensory processing disorder, the central auditory processing disorder, or the visual processing disorder which my son has.

Except for the first few years, there has never been a discussion about my son's hypotonia (low muscle tone), dyspraxia (motor planning), or other special needs that he has.

There has never been a discussion with a pediatrician or GP about how just being around other kids of the same chronological age may not be enough for my son.

There has never been a discussion about how my son may need to find a mentor or may need to be in certain settings to get his social/emotional needs met.  

There has never been a discussion on the raging mind, the insatiable curiosity, the relentless creativity, and drive to not conform or be compliant with authority.

Is it any wonder that my son frequently feels misunderstood?

This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop: The Invisible Gifted Child: Mislabeled, Misdiagnosed, Unidentified, and Misunderstood.  For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see:  For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see:

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  1. One lesson I learned early on in my career is that a group of professionals can all sit and read the same exact report and come away with as many different explanations for what's happening with the child as there are people sitting around the table. We're all reading the same evaluation data but doing so through the lens of our area of expertise. When there's multiple layers of factors to roll back and examine, it can be particularly difficult to figure out what's cause, what's effect, and what just is quirk. I'm sorry it's been such a tough journey for your family.

    1. That's true but it's more than annoying when you've gone to the top of the profession to have some local GP question you!

  2. The conversations are relentless aren't they? It sometimes is as if no one believes me. Great post!

    1. Yes. Feels like we talk to a proverbial wall some days!

  3. Replies
    1. Thanks!!! That's why I wrote it! It can't be just me who is going through this song and dance.